According to Google, pornography is “printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings.”
So is it bad for your marriage? I guess my first questions would be why are you looking at it and who’s starring in it?
I would say that if you’re a married man or woman and you’re looking at pornographic material without your spouse present, then my guess is that you probably have some other relationship and intimacy issues that need to be addressed. It might be worth seeing a licensed professional who works with couples and addresses relationship and intimacy issues.
Personally, I believe it’s best for your marriage to keep your sexual fulfillment or love tank filled by your spouse and your spouse alone. Why not make pornographic material together as a couple! This allows your wife to know she’s your only object of desire, and you may have fun being creative together! It’s good to keep your love life alive and this is just one way you could expand your horizons.
Maybe this looks like taking sexy photos. Maybe it’s taking video of sexual performances. Maybe it’s acting out a sexual fantasies like role playing. You may need to start with photos and build up to video as you both feel more comfortable with this activity. It’s not just about the visual here, but also about good communication. You have to discuss and decide as a couple, what you’re both comfortable with and why.
Ladies, you may have some privacy concerns. This concern cannot be taken lightly! If you don’t give your wife control here she may be reluctant to make any pornographic material and understandably so. How can you password protect your material? Is she the only one who knows the password you use to protect your newly created photos and videos? You’ve got to let her know you understand her privacy concerns and together take action to find a solution you’re both comfortable with. Protecting such a valuable part of your love life speaks volumes to her, and if you don’t take this area seriously, you risk losing her trust!
The goal here is change the current idea that all pornography is horrible to how can you use pornography and make it work in your marriage to strengthen that bond and keep your love life exciting. We don’t need to be explicit with ideas, but instead hope this helps facilitate the conversation and provides additional ideas and thinking around the topic of pornography.