Fantasy: imagine the occurrence of, fantasize about.

Fantasy: imagine the occurrence of, fantasize about.

FANTASY: imagine the occurrence of, fantasize about.

So you’ve been home alone for four days this week and hubby has been traveling for three weeks back to back and oops… A man that resembles a half naked Freddie Prinze Jr pops into your mind while the kids are at school and you are folding laundry. Hmm.. what’s he doing in here you wonder.  You haven’t seen him around that space since 9th grade when She’s All That came out. You remember him looking good, but never this good before. He smiles at you and waves. He begins singing to you like Ewan McGregor in Moulin Rouge, and you kind of like it. Your Song.? How does he know that’s one of your favorites? You’re getting a little excited. You’re ovulating, and feeling friskier than ever.

This is so not like you. You’re a moral person. You are happily married to your spouse of X amount of years… but he continues. He leans down and he sweetly kisses you on the forehead. Adorable. Next, he looks you in the eyes, pulls you close to his body, and then slowly lifts you against his. Feeling his strong body against your petite frame has never felt so good. You do notice on the way up that he has an erection, and you likey. A little condensation forms on your granny panties. Had you known he was going to show up you would have put on something a bit sexier, but you stay in the moment.

His hand now on your derriere. Completely doting on you and you on him. You can see it in his eyes and you are loving it. And you completely enthralled by him too. He lays you on your bed and starts undressing you. He takes his time giving you little kisses along your panty line before taking them off completely… Occasionally between inner thigh kisses, he glances up at you with passion in his eyes. He knows the anticipation is driving you nuts. He  moves up toward your face again. What a tease he turns out to be. He begins softly whispering E.E. Cummings erotic poetry into your ear. You’re blushing. A little P & V action happens soon after. 

 What’s With These Fantasies and What Do I Do With These Thoughts?

  • You may acknowledge these thoughts as they are. Yep, those are fantasies. Nonjudgmental stance- it’s just a thought. Imagery and words coming into your head space. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything.
  • Maybe you decide you’re going to redirect that thought a bit and make it a better, a more pure version of the original. Hey, that’s not my hubby in that mental picture/thought. You edit Freddie Prinze Jr out and replace him with your spouse. Yeah, that’s better and more inline with your values and commitment. You do love your spouse, and he is your hottie! Discard, the not your husband, but keep the healthy fantasy part.

Note: You are not a horrible person if the thought of another person has popped into your head a few times over the course of your marriage. It can happen to the best of us, but it probably does matter what you do with those thoughts of another person. Don’t let the thought of the other person linger and take root in your mind. It’s not beneficial to your spouse and marriage. Discipline your mind and actions in order to guard your marriage bed. Evaluate if these thoughts come up more as a result of not being as sexually and emotionally connected to your spouse as you feel you need to be. Maybe even share with a close personal friend that you trust, and ask that they hold you accountable if  you it feel its needed. 

  • Disclose it to your spouse, and be careful in how you share. In confessing, you might say, hey honey bunny, “I’m feeling extra horny today and you’re not here. We’ve had some time apart. I’m in heat currently, and I had a little fantasy pop into my mind today. I’m wishing you were here for that. Yep, can we talk about that for a minute. Okay good, so I know you’re this highly intelligent, very disciplined man. Stellar athlete. You are kind and loving. Very business savvy. You’re a hottie with a body and an amazing father. I adore you. Then you get back to the point of the conversation. Next you say we both know you’re not a musician or a poet. You suggest that maybe the two of you explore that “fantasy world” some time. Those characteristics are kind of sexy and it’s just a small little fantasy. Nothing weird, degrading or demeaning EVER. You ask if he’s willing to be that hot musician or poet for just one night? The song/poetry doesn’t have to be original, he can copy and paste.   
  • Make the fantasy a reality. Listen to what the fantasy is actually about. In the above example, noting the more pure version [only your husband], it’s about a hot body and good looks.  It’s about passion and anticipation again. Slowly taking your time to arouse her. It’s about taking time to notice her love of music and lyrics. You’ve taken note of a couple of her favorite songs.. Sometimes she’s feeling a little bit country, mo town, R&B, or whatever. You can be styled to look the part.  Think an outfit like Brad Paisley or Mat Kearney. Normally you dress in business casual, but tonight’s going to be different. Singing to your wife is almost always going to be very sweet and sexy. She finds the creative process behind lyric writing to be intriguing? The same goes for writing poetic language. Each year you revisit this fantasy with different ideas:  
  1. Think of what mood you’re trying to set and chose an appropriate song to duplicate. You can start by simply putting a record on and singing along with the recording.
  2. Maybe you take some vocal lessons or learn a little piano or guitar. Show off for her sometime.  A little Van Morrison’s Crazy Love.
  3. You have more time to take a songwriting or poetry class, either solo or together. You share some of your creative writing.
  4. On an anniversary, you take her on that trip to Nashville. You get up on stage and with confidence belt out some current country songs. She scoots along on the dance floor admiring you from away. She’s taking in the image of her dream man up on stage. 
  5. Buy the E.E. Cummings Erotic Poetry book . It’s only 8.99 on Amazon. We haven’t read the entire thing, just parts. Dedicate time to memorizing parts of it and recite it. 

A Holiday Escape: The Biltmore Estate

A Holiday Escape: The Biltmore Estate

A Holiday Escape: The Biltmore Estate

Picture a gorgeous estate setting nestled among the mountains. 8,000 acres to stroll through with your loved one(s). Activities that can include carriage rides, hiking, and horseback riding. Beautiful gardens to experience, a charming village filled with world class restaurants, handcrafted beers and wines to sip on, shopping and exhibits to explore. The most elegant home ever, where the Vanderbilt’s lived. Indulge in a fantasy world, pretend to be royalty visiting this grand estate, even if just for a weekend.

Making The Most of Your Holiday Escape: The Biltmore Estate

Friday is spent traveling to the estate and then strolling through the many acres surrounding this stunning home, taking amazing photos with the majestic mountains as your backdrop, and dining casually  for a late morning brunch.

Knowing your wife and her love of impromptu teaching moments you begin to teach. You wow everyone when you provide an abundant amount of knowledge on the Vanderbilt’s and the estate as you walk the grounds. You talk with your kids about the Vanderbilt family legacy, the history behind the estate, and their philanthropy efforts. You also mention how the Vanderbilt’s provided many job opportunities employing architects, highly skilled trades workers and landscapers in order to create this masterpiece. They commissioned many artists to create elaborate tapestries and portraits to add the finishing touches. They were also known for making generous donations to charitable causes. You explain how the Vanderbilt’s taught their children the importance of purchasing natural resources, like land as a long-term investment strategy. Later on, you mention that the Vanderbilt family members were able sell a portion of their land to the U.S. National Forest Service so others could forever experience these beautiful protected mountains and lands. What a legacy. These are just a few examples of some of the history behind this amazing family and estate.

You use this trip as a fun, but also educational opportunity to start instilling philanthropy and business ideas into their your children’s minds. How can we use what we have to help others out you ask? What little artistic entrepreneurial business ideas can you think of? Just a couple of questions you begin to ask, and maybe even start up once you go back home. You know those winter months are long and you’ll need activities to keep little hands and minds busy.

Friday afternoon you get your little people dressed up in their Christmas time jammies and head up to Bryson City, NC to take a ride on THE POLAR EXPRESS! Make sure you don’t forget your tablet You’ve downloaded the movie to watch on the hour long drive to the train station. 

Saturday starts off with a relaxed breakfast at McDonald’s. You go cheap here so you can go all out for dinner. Next up,  garden exploration once you make it back to the estate.  You begin to teach the kids how to classify and categorize the different plants. With the younger one you are asking which colors he sees on the plants. So much fun learning!

Next up tea time for your little princess and lovely Queen. They talk about Grandmother’s English heritage while having girly girl time. Guy time for the King of the Castle and his little prince, so you grab lunch with the little guy. After the two of you walk over to grab a couple of those delectable caramel chocolates you know your wifey will savor later on. She’ll be pleasantly surprised once kiddos are asleep. Good planning you remark to yourself. Bonus points. Yeah, I’m da man.

Then the family gathers together again for a short but delightful carriage ride around the estate before walking over to dinner. You’ve planned and saved for a fancy dinner at one of the many world class restaurants that’s offered in the Antler Village. We recommend the Village Social or the Deer Park restaurant. Amazing service with a wonderful old world ambiance. Great food and wine/beer too!

Following dinner you head back to the Biltmore Estate where you take in the beauty of this home completely decked out for the Christmas Christmas Candlelight tour. Truly stunning! That reminds you of how stunning your wife is looking tonight too. Gosh… “Honey, you are looking stunning tonight,” you say. She smiles, you smile. You and your wife have always appreciated intricate woodworking, elaborate tapestries, fancy Christmas trees and decorations, and this home has it all in abundance! What a sight too for the little people to take in! Wonder and joy fill their little eyes.

Oh and then another great impromptu teaching moment arrives as you get on the elevator. The elevator and it’s history. A good way to introduce some engineering concepts and Mr. Otis, the great American industrialist. Another thing to talk about on the way home, patents and their importance for all the inventions you’ll imagine together. You remembered to pack a couple of books for your little ones to read on the way home that go with this idea. Let’s not forget those at bedtime, you remind yourself.   

The kids are completely worn out from a day of exploring so you head back to the The Grand Bohemian Hotel just outside the estate. You know your wife loves the charming and rustic feel of this hotel. And then there’s the artwork within its walls. Maybe you’ll start a little art collection of your own just like the Vanderbilt family you imagine. This hotel is her favorite and reminiscent of a little European Market at Christmas time. You talk of plans to go to Europe for their Christmas markets once the children are much older. It’ll be a meaningful trip because of her family’s ancestry and roots there. What a time dreaming up even more amazing adventures you’ll take together in the years to come. Things will never get boring, you promise to each other!

You get the munchkins to bed on that pull out bed before heading to the gorgeous bathroom. The kids are asleep so now you can a draw a relaxing bath for you and your bride to enjoy behind closed doors. You remember those caramel chocolates in your coat pocket and set them next to the bubbly bubble bath. While wifey freshens up you make a little love nest on the bathroom floor.  This hotel is quality so of course it has only the most luxurious of bedding to place on the ground. Boys to Men starts playing on your phone, setting the mood, and naturally you begin to make hot passionate love for an entire sixty minutes of marital bliss! Gosh, when was the last time you actually enjoyed sixty full minutes of lovemaking? What a magnificent way to end a fabulous escapee, and kick-off a great holiday season!

 

Dealing With The Silent Treatment: Insight and a Scenario

Dealing With The Silent Treatment: Insight and a Scenario

Lessons on dealing with the silent treatment: Music Musing: Cold by Maroon 5

The lyrics below are from Cold by Maroon 5….

 

Are we taking time or a timeout?

I can’t take the in between

Asking me for space here in my house

You know how to fuck with me

Acting like we’re not together

After everything that we’ve been through

Sleeping up under the covers

How am I so far away from you?

Distant when we’re kissing

Feel so different

Baby tell me how did you get so

Cold enough to chill my bones

It feels like I don’t know you anymore

I don’t understand why you’re so cold to me

With every breath you breathe

I see there’s something going on

I don’t understand why you’re so cold, yeah

 

Thanks Adam Levine and crew for taking the time to write and sing a song that many people can relate to. Husbands often report experiencing the cold shoulder tactic. It is frustrating, we know. So if you’re left wondering why your lady is doing this and what you can do about it, we are here to try to help ya out.

So what is being cold or giving someone the cold shoulder you ask? Well, it’s deliberately ignoring someone. The person acting in a cold manner withdraws from the relationship and/or intentionally takes away something her spouse wants, her attention. Ladies often do this when they are upset with their spouse, and they are waiting for their husband to recognize they have been hurt by something he has or has not done.

The Cold Shoulder Treatment: A Scenario

Julie and Mark make plans to attend their youngest child’s soccer game together on Saturday afternoon. Julie is looking forward to it because Mark has had some work travel and time away from the family. She normally doesn’t mind Mark’s work travel, but her dad just found out he has to have additional medical testing done after some preliminary results came back positive. Julie is upset because her dad may have an serious medical concern and Mark has been unavailable to talk to her about it. Then Mark’s buddy calls him up and offers him tickets to the MLS that happens to be at the same time as their youngest son’s soccer game on Saturday. Mark tells Julie, “Hey, honey, so and so offered for me to go with him to the MLS game on Saturday. I  told him I could so it’s on you to attend the game on Saturday. Oh and don’t forget it’s our week to bring snacks and a drink.”

So Julie gives Mark the glaring eye and leaves the room. She refuses to speak to him for the next two nights. Any time he tries to get her to talk, she just turns on walks away. The ladies reading this are thinking, how does Mark not know what he has done wrong her?? The guys reading this are thinking, how is Mark suppose to know what he has done wrong if Julie doesn’t tell him.

Problem Solving: Why is she giving me the cold shoulder?

Why does Julie give Mark the cold shoulder her? She is wanting Mark to recognize he’s done some perceived wrong or has hurt her somehow. When Mark notices her being beginning to act cold, he’s going to recognize the behavior by verbally saying, “Hey, I can see that you’re upset, and that’s why you’re withdrawing right now. I’m sorry.” Mark doesn’t have the slightest idea yet why he is apologizing, but that’s the first step. He recognizes her behavior as being cold and without putting blame on her, he just states he can see she is upset and he’s sorry.

Next, you’re going to ask her to help you out. You don’t want her upset. You love her and you want her to help define the problem so together you can think of solutions.

She will love if you are able to analyze the past couple of days and take note of things going well up until a certain point. So if you are Mark you may have noticed she was warm until you mentioned going to the MLS game instead of the kid’s soccer game. You start here…

“Honey bunny, I noticed you seemed upset after I mentioned going to the game with so and so? Normally, you’re cool with that sort of thing. Was it that or was there something else?” questions Mark.  Good job, Mark!  You’re on your way to figuring out why you’re getting the cold shoulder.

Let him out of the dog house… vulnerability is healthy!

Julie, “Yeah, Mark I’m upset because we had planned to go to our son’s game together on Saturday.” Julie throws up her hands and shakes her head. He begins to see her tear up. Now she feels cared for because he noticed her being upset so she can begin to show her real emotions.

Mark asks for more, “So you’re upset because we aren’t going to the game together on Saturday? So and so did offer tickets. I haven’t seen him in a few months and we’re going to talk about a potential client while there. Maybe I should have asked you first. I know I’ve had a bit of travel lately.”

Julie still gives short responses, “Yeah you should have. I haven’t even been able to talk to you.” She begins to cry.

He thinks of when her menstrual cycle should begin. Nope not this week, so he continues to listen. There must be more going on. “Julie, what else is going on?”

Critical thinking moment: Mark knows that Julie isn’t the type to engage in “silent treatment manipulation” or using the cold shoulder to get what she wants.  His intuition also lets him know that this seems a little more than just being upset about the soccer game.  Thinking like this about your spouse and understanding their behavior can be very helpful in a relationship. It can also help you when dealing with the silent treatment so you can analyze what’s going on.

Dealing with the silent treatment: Patience, empathy, and listening

“My dad got his preliminary test results back and now they need to send him for more. It doesn’t sound very good. I’m just upset about that. Plus, we haven’t been able to talk about it. The kids have been busy with school and sports. I was really looking forward to the car ride with you. That would have been our only real time to talk over the last couple of weeks. I’m feeling disappointed and yes, I wish you would have asked me first,” Julie explains.

“Thanks for explaining that,” Mark states. “Now it makes sense to me why you were ignoring me. You were feeling hurt. How about  I call so and so and tell him I can’t go on Saturday. I want to go with you because that’s what I said I would do. We do need that time together because things have been busy.”

Julie says, “Thank you. And if you need to reschedule something with so and so to talk about that client how about next Tuesday when you’ve been home and while I’m talking so and so to practice?”

   Guys just recognize the behavior, and think through dealing with the silent treatment.  Then draw out of her what’s really going on. Hopefully you now understand a little bit more of why women act cold, how to recognize it, and what to do to communicate effectively so your relationships gets back to normal as soon as possible.  You love one another, learn effective communication!

Our Gift Guide for Her this Christmas

Our Gift Guide for Her this Christmas

Our Gift Guide for Your Her this Christmas

    • Personalized Christmas Ornament from Pottery Barn -$8.50  Add a favorite family photo memory from this past year. Small annual contribution like these really pay off over the long haul. The return on the investment is great 20 years from now when the kids have moved out.
    • Create an at Home Spa Package filled with items she’ll love and will use more than once, but will still leave you with money to fund the kids’ 529 plans.
      • Luxurious Bubble Bath -$38
      • Velour Bath Robe with Sherpa Trim– $90-130
      • Sleeping Mask- $40
    • Buy the New York Times Best Seller, Bad Feminist. $10. You know her favorite place for some intellectual stimulation is in the bathtub.

Vulnerability in Marriage

Vulnerability in Marriage

Pornography is a topic that gets talked about a lot in some circles. Apparently there has been a steep increase in the use of pornographic material. Husbands are being tempted to use this as a replacement instead of going to their wives for sexual connection and having that need met there.

After reading about this I couldn’t help but wonder why individuals aren’t discussing what’s at the root cause of this? So some husbands are looking at pornography, okay. So that’s the symptom telling me that something else is going on in the man’s heart or is going on in that marriage relationship that needs a remedy.

A wise person once talked about couples coming together regularly as being a good indicator that those marriages were probably strong and healthy. If couples are coming together regularly for sexual connection, then other areas (emotional, spiritual, intellectual) of their marriage are probably strong and healthy too.

But for those who are experiencing some symptoms, what’s going on in the relationship that needs to be addressed and healed?

Here are two examples:

Scenario One

Life Got Busy and Physical Intimacy Got Placed On The Back Burner. 

Guys, most women are reasonable if you speak to their logical mind.

If you said, “Hey I’m feeling tempted in this area because we’re not getting it on regularly, what can we do about this? Do you need more sleep? How can I help love on you more? I want you and only you, because you’re my smokin’ hot wife.” She’s likely to appreciate your vulnerability AND be prepared, she may come back with, “Thanks for being honest. I would be more in the mood if “x” happened more often. What can we do about it?”

So this opens up the conversation in a pretty healthy and respectful way.

Listen and repeat back. 

Husbands – acknowledge your wife’s feelings and repeat back to her what she needs from you. That lets her know you’re actually taking in what’s she’s saying. She’s likely to mirror that back to you, acknowledging how you’re feeling and expressing she gets what you need from her.

Together think of win win solutions.

Set goals together. Two times a week she’ll get x from you, two times a week she’ll invite you into being sexually intimate. Everyone wins and walks away feeling heard and like they’re getting the best out of the deal.

Scenario Two:

He’s Been Emasculated.

Husband feels emasculated by his wife. She compares him negatively to other men or treats him in a way that makes him feel as though he’ll never be good enough. Or maybe this wife never acknowledges that her husband is right, which over time cuts him down. This habit over time leads to him turning to pornography because at least the fake girl in the video makes him feel good about himself temporarily.

Owning Feelings and Labeling Behavior.

The husband needs to bring this up to his wife in a way that labels her behavior, and let’s her know how her behavior is impacting him negatively. Hopefully she’ll receive this constructive criticism, start acknowledging where she was wrong and starts working to improve their relationship. If you’re husband is being vulnerable ladies, please pay attention. He is trying to tell you something is not right here and it needs to get fixed before things get worse.

These are just two examples, personalize it to fit your specific scenario.

And just a reminder men, your wife’s sexual libido is highly dependent on your pursuit of her. We ladies are designed to respond to your display of love for us. You lead here and we respond! Ladies, build up your husband and let him know you desire him physically as well.

 

 

Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day

Hey guys… It’s Valentine’s Day!

Even when your lady says she doesn’t really celebrate this holiday, she doesn’t really mean it. Plan something to acknowledge this day. Yes, I know it doesn’t make sense when she sends you conflicting messages 🙂 You think like Spock, she thinks like a girl. The sooner you begin appreciating this difference, the better off your relationship will be 🙂

Suprise her by drawing a bath, set some chocolates or whatever her favorite special treat is near the tub, turn on some sexy time invoking music, place some lit candles near the bubble bath. Go all out 🙂 Maybe hold each other while in the water, taking time caressing each other slowly. After you’re finished there, remind her you’ve been wanting to massage her gorgeous body. Get some coconut oil (the newest In organic skin care) and give her a sensual massage while music plays softly in the background. See where things go from here…

Or just be cool with her falling asleep early. Whatever way you can best show your wife you love her.

Sometimes it’s the little things that help turn her on 🙂

Do Old People Have Sex?

Do Old People Have Sex?

The great Maya Angelou wrote  on the question of “Do old people have sex?” in her book titled, Even The Stars Looks Lonesome. This entire book is a great read. Below we’ll add the link so you can buy it on Amazon, but for now, here is an excerpt:

An African American woman I know had parents who were married for forty years. The father had a lingering and painful illness during which the mother was his devoted and usually cheerful attendant. The father died. Three years later my acquaintance severed relations with her mother. The mother had dared to take up with a gentleman friend. The daughter who was 35 years old and twice divorced was repelled by the thought her mother was being intimate with a man, and displeasure stretched beyond her control.

A group of friends and acquaintances met a hotel for Sunday brunch. The unhappy woman let her horror over her mother’s friend take control over the conversation.

“What could they possibly be doing together? She’s nearly 60 and he’s got be be 65. Can you imagine them naked together? All that wrinkled skin rubbing against the other.

Her face was an ugly mask. She puckered and pouted and sulked.

“Old people shouldn’t have sex. Just thinking about that turns my stomach.”

Sitting at the table were black women, whose ages ranged from seventy to seventeen. There was silence for a moment after the tirade, then almost everyone began to speak at once.

“Are you crazy?”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Old folks don’t have sex. Who told you that lie?”

One woman waited until the clamor had subsided and asked sweetly, “What do you think your mama and daddy did after you were born? They stopped doing the do?”

The whiner answered petulantly, “You don’t have to be nasty.” The statement brought howls of derision.

“Girl you are sick!”

“Get a grip!”

And the oldest lady in the room said, “Honey, tired don’t mean lazy, and every goodbye ain’t gone.”

I was reminded of my mother when she was 74. She lived in California with my 4th stepfather, her great love, who was recovering from a mild stroke. Her telephone voice clearly told me how upset she was, “Baby, I’ve waited as long as I could before bothering you, but things have gone on  too long. Much too long.”

I made my voice as soft as hers had been hard. “Mom, what’s the matter? I’ll take care of it.”

Although I lived in North Carolina, I felt as close as the telephone, credit cards and airlines allowed me to be.

“It’s your poppa. If you don’t talk to him, I’m going to put his butt out. Out of this house. I’ll put his butt on the street.”

 The last husband of mom’s was my favorite.  We were made for each other.  He had never had a daughter and I had not known a father’s care, advice and protection since my teens.

“What did Poppa do, Mom? What is he doing?”

“Nothing. Nothing.  That’s it.  He’s not doing a damn thing.”

“But Mom, his stroke.”

“I know.  He thinks that if he has sex, he’ll bring on another stroke. The doctor already told him that isn’t true. And I got so mad when he said he might die having sex, that I told him there’s no better way to go.”

That was funny, but I knew better than to laugh.

“What can I do, Mom? Really, I mean there is nothing I can do.”

“Yes, you can.  You talk to him. He’ll listen to you. Either you talk to him or I’ll put him out on the street. I’m a woman, I’m not a damn rock.”

I knew that voice very well. I knew that she had reached her level of frustration.  She was ready to act.

I said, “OK, Mom.  I don’t know what I will say, but I’ll talk to Poppa.”

“You’d better do it soon, then.”

“Mom, you leave the house at five-thirty this evening, and I’ll telephone Poppa after you leave. Calm your heart, Mom, I’ll do my best.”

“OK, Baby, ‘bye.  I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

She was not happy, but at least she had calmed down.  I pondered throughout the day and at six o’clock California time I telephoned.”

“Hi Poppa.  How are you?”

“Hey, baby.  How you doing?” He was happy to hear my voice.

“Fine, Poppa.  Please let me speak to Mom.”

“Oh, baby, she left here ’bout a half hour ago.  Gone over to her cousin’s.”

“Well, Poppa, I’m worried about her and her appetite.  She didn’t eat today, did she?”

“Yes, she did.  Cooked crab cakes and a slaw and asparagus. We ate it all.”

“Well, she’s not drinking, is she?”

“She has a beer with me, and you can bet she’s got a Dewar’s White Label in her hand right now.”

“But, Poppa, something much be wrong.  I mean, is she playing music and cards and things?”

“We played Take 6 all day on this music system you sent us, and I know she’s playing dominoes over there with your cousin Mary.”

“Well, Poppa, you seem to think her appetite is strong.”

“Oh, yeah, baby, your momma got a good appetite.”

“That’s true, Poppa.” I lowered my voice. “All her appetites are strong.  Poppa, please excuse me – but I’m the only one to speak to you – but it’s true her love appetite is string, too, and, Poppa, please excuse me, but if you don’t take care of her in that department, she will starve to death, Poppa.” I heard him cough and sputter and clear his throat.

“Please excuse me, Poppa, but someone is at my door.  I love you, Poppa.”

There was a very weak “Bye, baby.”

My face was burning.  I made a drink for myself. I had done the best I could, and I hoped it would work.”

The next morning, about 7:00 A.M. California time, my mother’s voice gave me the result.

“Hi darling, Mother’s baby.  You are the sweetest girl in the world.  Mother just adores you.” She cooed and crooned, and I laughed for her pleasure.

Parents who tell their offspring that sex is an act performed only for procreation do everyone a serious disservice.  With absolute distress, I must say that my mom died four years after that incident, but she remains my ideal. Now in my sixties, I plan to continue to be like her when I reach my seventies, and beyond, if I’m lucky.

 

So what do you think?  Do you want to be an old person having sex?  To read more of Maya Angelou’s book, here it is on Amazon.

Best G-Spot Vibrator: JimmyJane Form 6 Review

Best G-Spot Vibrator: JimmyJane Form 6 Review

Question: What is the best g-spot vibrator of all the g-spot vibrators on the market?

Answer: The JimmyJane Form 6.  Read our Ultimate G-Spot Vibrator Review for the comparison between this one and 4 others.  In this post, we will provide a more detailed JimmyJane Form 6 review and talk through all of the amazing things about this product, along with the few things that we would change about it.

The JimmyJane Form 6

So what is so great about this thing that makes it the best g-spot vibrator?  Let’s skip right past the packaging – that’s not amazing like the Lelo products.  But who cares about the packaging –  who buys a vibrator for the box?  Let’s talk about this vibrator itself:

Material

The JimmyJane Form 6 is made of medical grade silicone.  It’s totally hypoallergenic, so anyone like me who has sensitive skin – or just generally cares what materials are used sexually – should have no problem with the materials on this vibrator.  But that’s not what makes it the best g-spot vibrator.  What does is the slight drag on the silicone that helps to create some friction while the vibrator is in use.  One of the reasons that condoms are terrible is that you don’t get that natural friction that comes from a penis.  This is one of the best vibrator materials that I have seen that helps to create this natural feeling.  It doesn’t come close to the real thing and I’ll take my husband’s penis any day of the week, but the material on the JimmyJane Form 6 is pretty great, especially when compared with others on the market.

Double-Sided!

This is the other main factor that makes the JimmyJane Form 6 the best g-spot vibrator on the market.  There is a motor in both ends, and both ends can be used internally, which is pretty awesome.  It is pretty great to have a single sex toy where you can use the smaller end for g-spot stimulation, especially due to it’s higher curve on this side, then flip it over and use the longer wider end for some deeper penetration and friction action.

Girth and Shape

Another great attribute about the JimmyJane Form 6 is it’s size.  The smaller end is pretty easy to start out with since it has a smaller circumference, but once you are excited and used to the smaller end, the girth of the wider end takes an exciting several seconds to get used to.

The JimmyJane Form 6 is also the vibrator in this high-end vibrator class that most closely resembles a penis shape.  It’s not perfectly round, and it doesn’t have a flattened head.  It’s more shaped like a very rounded triangle, similar to a fully erect penis shaft.  For that, it gets top marks.

Controls

The controls are the one thing that I would change about this vibrator.  Though it is nice to have the control buttons hidden so that the toy can be used double-sided, the intensity buttons and the pattern buttons are actually on the larger end of the toy.  The buttons are indicated by slight raised symbols in the material, which are pushed down on.  While in use, sometimes it is challenging to find these buttons.  The pattern buttons are even more challenging to find since they’re found vertically on the shaft.  Once you get this bad girl in, you don’t really want to take it out to fiddle around with the controls before reinserting.

What would be ideal is if there was a separate control, similar to the Lelo Tiani 24k

Summary

So, we think the JimmyJane Form 6 is the best g-spot vibrator out on the market today, despite the difficult controls.  It’s pretty expensive, but you get what you pay for in this case.  What do you think?  Leave your comments below!

Here is a link to the best offer I have seen for the JimmyJane Form 6:

The Ultimate G-Spot Vibrator Review!

How to you choose the best g-spot vibrator? There are so many g-spot vibrators on the market today.  How are you supposed to choose between them?  We decided to create a comprehensive g-spot vibrator review to help choose from among the various options.  It’s not like you can try one on and ask for a different size like they were a pair of pants.  No one wants to visit that consignment shop.

For the purposes of this blog, we will only focus on g-spot vibrators and not rabbit vibrators, which are the dual-action vibes massaging the g-spot and the clitoris at the same time.  The Ultimate Rabbit Vibrator Review will be coming soon…

Which g-spot vibrator is the best on the market?

Let’s start with eliminating 90% of the g-spot vibrators right off the bat.  You do not want anything made with cheap materials that are potentially hazardous, irritating, or allergenic.  If your approach so far has been to walk into a Spencer Gifts (been there!) or Walgreens and find one that looks okay, you’re doing it all wrong.  However, that doesn’t mean you need to spend $200 for a good g-spot vibrator!

For this review, I’m going to focus on the top 5 g-spot vibrators (in my opinion), covering several brands and styles.  The list below is not in order of preference just yet, just the order in which the vibrators were reviewed:
JimmyJane Form 6 G-Spot Vibrator

JimmyJane FORM 6

The JimmyJane Form 6 looks kind of like a small bent bowling pin (but much smaller)!  Both sides are usable internally and externally, and I find that after a nice warmup with the smaller side, the larger side is pretty wonderful.  The head of the Form 6 is actually the largest in diameter of any of the toys on this list, and you will notice the difference.  I also noticed that the JimmyJane Form 6 has the strongest vibration of all of them – potentially due to the larger size being able to pack more punch.

The dual motors also seem to give it significantly more consistent vibration, rather than just at one end of the toy.  However, this can lead to a little bit of numb-hand after a session – a small price to pay for a powerful orgasm.

I have seen different stats about the insertable length of the Form 6, but it seems to be a little under 5 inches, and you notice the difference between it and the Lelo Mona 2.
 
Je Joue G-Kii G-Spot Vibrator

Je Joue G-Kii

If you have never found your g-spot before, hold on and get ready for some involuntary toe-curling and leg squeezing orgasms!  The G-Kii is the queen of finding and massaging your g-spot, no matter your anatomy or body type.  As you can see in the picture, the key feature of the Je Joue G-Kii (a tongue twister if there ever was one) can be adjusted to several different shapes to meet your anatomy.  Just try one and if you aren’t satisfied, curve some more and try again!  This entry sort of breaks the rule for this review of g-spot-only vibrators, because the G-Kii can actually be fully bent in half to provide clitoral stimulation as well, though I wasn’t terribly impressed with that ability and would rather just use a clit-specific vibrator while using this at the same time.

Lelo Gigi 2 G-Spot Vibrator

Lelo Gigi 2

The Lelo Gigi 2 is specifically designed to reach your g-spot.  It is absolutely wonderful, though as with all of Lelo’s products, it is rather expensive.  The Gigi is smaller than the Mona, and the flattened head is designed to be specifically pressed against the g-spot whereas most of the other toys here have significantly more volume.  If you are newer to toys or are rather on the small side, you may want to consider the Gigi 2 first because some of the others can be rather uncomfortable if you’re a newcomer.

The Lelo Gigi 2 is also slightly shorter than the other toys here at a little under 4 inches of insertable length.  It’s not intended to be a thrusting-type dildo-vibe, but a g-spot specific massager, which it does a terrific job at.

As a clitoral vibrator, the Gigi is probably the second-best of the five here, next to the Lelo Mona 2.
Lelo Mona 2 G-Spot Vibrator

Lelo Mona 2

The Lelo Mona 2 as described in my previous review is my favorite g-spot vibrator from Lelo.  It has a larger bulb top, which after I’m warmed up after some clitoral stimulation slides gently in with a very nice filling feeling.  The Mona 2’s size and shape differentiate it from the Gigi 2 significantly.  Because of the shape of the head, it gives the user some room for thrusting while keeping in contact with the g-spot.  Once you are really into it, the shape of the head also allows you to pull it out most of the way, giving you that nice stretching feeling toward the bottom of your vagina before you slide it back in – if you like that sort of thing.

The Mona 2 isn’t the longest of the vibrators being reviewed, though it’s respectable at about 4.3 inches of insertable length, which is plenty for me.
Je Joue Uma G-Spot Vibrator

Je Joue Uma

Je Joue is a little less known than some of the larger brands like Lelo, but they are no newcomer, and they have done a pretty outstanding job with their products.  The Uma has a pretty similar shape as the JimmyJane Form 6, though it is not quite as large and only one side is intended for use.

The Je Joue Uma also gives you a significantly larger handle to hold onto than the JimmyJane Form 6.  It is less tapered than the Form 6, so it slides more comfortably.

If you are looking for a first g-spot toy, I would recommend either the Je Joue Uma or the Lelo Gigi 2.

 

How this G-Spot Vibrator Review was Done

I didn’t feel like previous experience with these vibrators or using them individually in separate sessions was going to do justice to the review and comparison.  After all, moods, time of day, exhaustion, and a multitude of factors can impact any individual sex session.  So I decided to have one session where I used all 5 vibrators in order to have as close to a “side-by-side” comparison as possible.

I loosened up with a bubble bath soak in the tub to prepare myself for the onslaught of vibrations ahead and get my head relieved from any other thoughts so my mind was solely on the wonderful task at hand.  I dictated some notes to my hubby bubby who faithfully jotted them down as we went, as well as his own observations.  Frankly, I think he enjoyed the show!

 

The results

This approach to the g-spot vibrator review was both the most wonderful and the most frustrating idea ever.  I won’t go into the details of the review experience, since those intimate details are for my hubby alone, but I will let you know that I was able to try all 5 each a few times (but just barely) in the same session before finally letting my favorite of the group take me over the edge.  So which toy won???

(Note: Artistic license taken while writing this review)

 

Here are my top 5 in order:

  1. JimmyJane FORM 6
  2. Je Joue G-Kii
  3. Lelo Mona 2
  4. Lelo Gigi 2
  5. Je Joue Uma

In the end, after trying each of these side by side, the JimmyJane FORM 6 took the crown as the winner!  The larger size, rumbly and high intensity was just a level above the rest of the group, though each toy is incredibly enjoyable.  It is the most expensive g-spot vibrator in the group, but not by much from the Amazon links below.  You really can’t go wrong when buying any of these top of the line toys, but you can definitely go wrong by purchasing a cheaper toy.  And when you end up using it about 500 times, you’ll realize it was worth it to spring for the higher quality.

Here are some links to where to purchase each of these on Amazon, which I would highly recommend versus buying from the manufacturers since Amazon has lower prices and faster, free shipping.

So what do you think of our g-spot vibrator review?  Please let us know in the comments below!

Edit: also check out our review of our top 5 clitoral vibrators!

Other Products you may be Interested in:

Signs of a Healthy Relationship

Signs of a Healthy Relationship

Psychology Today posted an article on 50 characteristics of a healthy relationship. Below we’ll list out our top 25 signs of a healthy relationship. Go through the list with your partner and discuss.

  1. You and your partner are playful with one another
  2. You think your partner has smart ideas at times
  3. You think about each other when you can’t be physically close
  4. You trust your partner
  5. When you disagree, you’re both able to be sensible and at least see the other persons’ point of view
  6. Your partner is happy when things go well for you, and vice versa
  7. You reminisce about past things that have been positive
  8. You touch each other every day in the form of hugs and kisses
  9. Your partner is a safe place to be vulnerable about fears, worries, insecurities, failures, etc.
  10. You can list positive personality traits your partner inherited from his parents
  11. You both provide each other with a sense of security- knowing the other will be faithful in the relationship and also won’t jeopardize finances
  12. You express appreciation for the other regularly
  13. You sense your individual strengths complement one another
  14. You’re okay taking constructive feedback from your partner
  15. When you hear, You’re Body Is a Wonderland, you immediately think of your partner
  16. You can appreciate the ways you’ve grown as individuals and as a couple
  17. When you’re dealing with life stressors, you can turn to your partner for comfort
  18. You feel as though you’re teammates with your partner, working together to accomplish great things together
  19. You know facts about your partner’s childhood and understand their family relationships a bit
  20. You feel comfortable challenging one another
  21. You view your partner as a warm and gentle spirit
  22. You make each other laugh
  23. You get along with at least one of your partner’s friends
  24. You rarely have contempt for your partner
  25. When arguments happen you still feel as though your partner cares about your feelings