Dealing With The Silent Treatment: Insight and a Scenario

Dealing With The Silent Treatment: Insight and a Scenario

Lessons on dealing with the silent treatment: Music Musing: Cold by Maroon 5

The lyrics below are from Cold by Maroon 5….

 

Are we taking time or a timeout?

I can’t take the in between

Asking me for space here in my house

You know how to fuck with me

Acting like we’re not together

After everything that we’ve been through

Sleeping up under the covers

How am I so far away from you?

Distant when we’re kissing

Feel so different

Baby tell me how did you get so

Cold enough to chill my bones

It feels like I don’t know you anymore

I don’t understand why you’re so cold to me

With every breath you breathe

I see there’s something going on

I don’t understand why you’re so cold, yeah

 

Thanks Adam Levine and crew for taking the time to write and sing a song that many people can relate to. Husbands often report experiencing the cold shoulder tactic. It is frustrating, we know. So if you’re left wondering why your lady is doing this and what you can do about it, we are here to try to help ya out.

So what is being cold or giving someone the cold shoulder you ask? Well, it’s deliberately ignoring someone. The person acting in a cold manner withdraws from the relationship and/or intentionally takes away something her spouse wants, her attention. Ladies often do this when they are upset with their spouse, and they are waiting for their husband to recognize they have been hurt by something he has or has not done.

The Cold Shoulder Treatment: A Scenario

Julie and Mark make plans to attend their youngest child’s soccer game together on Saturday afternoon. Julie is looking forward to it because Mark has had some work travel and time away from the family. She normally doesn’t mind Mark’s work travel, but her dad just found out he has to have additional medical testing done after some preliminary results came back positive. Julie is upset because her dad may have an serious medical concern and Mark has been unavailable to talk to her about it. Then Mark’s buddy calls him up and offers him tickets to the MLS that happens to be at the same time as their youngest son’s soccer game on Saturday. Mark tells Julie, “Hey, honey, so and so offered for me to go with him to the MLS game on Saturday. I  told him I could so it’s on you to attend the game on Saturday. Oh and don’t forget it’s our week to bring snacks and a drink.”

So Julie gives Mark the glaring eye and leaves the room. She refuses to speak to him for the next two nights. Any time he tries to get her to talk, she just turns on walks away. The ladies reading this are thinking, how does Mark not know what he has done wrong her?? The guys reading this are thinking, how is Mark suppose to know what he has done wrong if Julie doesn’t tell him.

Problem Solving: Why is she giving me the cold shoulder?

Why does Julie give Mark the cold shoulder her? She is wanting Mark to recognize he’s done some perceived wrong or has hurt her somehow. When Mark notices her being beginning to act cold, he’s going to recognize the behavior by verbally saying, “Hey, I can see that you’re upset, and that’s why you’re withdrawing right now. I’m sorry.” Mark doesn’t have the slightest idea yet why he is apologizing, but that’s the first step. He recognizes her behavior as being cold and without putting blame on her, he just states he can see she is upset and he’s sorry.

Next, you’re going to ask her to help you out. You don’t want her upset. You love her and you want her to help define the problem so together you can think of solutions.

She will love if you are able to analyze the past couple of days and take note of things going well up until a certain point. So if you are Mark you may have noticed she was warm until you mentioned going to the MLS game instead of the kid’s soccer game. You start here…

“Honey bunny, I noticed you seemed upset after I mentioned going to the game with so and so? Normally, you’re cool with that sort of thing. Was it that or was there something else?” questions Mark.  Good job, Mark!  You’re on your way to figuring out why you’re getting the cold shoulder.

Let him out of the dog house… vulnerability is healthy!

Julie, “Yeah, Mark I’m upset because we had planned to go to our son’s game together on Saturday.” Julie throws up her hands and shakes her head. He begins to see her tear up. Now she feels cared for because he noticed her being upset so she can begin to show her real emotions.

Mark asks for more, “So you’re upset because we aren’t going to the game together on Saturday? So and so did offer tickets. I haven’t seen him in a few months and we’re going to talk about a potential client while there. Maybe I should have asked you first. I know I’ve had a bit of travel lately.”

Julie still gives short responses, “Yeah you should have. I haven’t even been able to talk to you.” She begins to cry.

He thinks of when her menstrual cycle should begin. Nope not this week, so he continues to listen. There must be more going on. “Julie, what else is going on?”

Critical thinking moment: Mark knows that Julie isn’t the type to engage in “silent treatment manipulation” or using the cold shoulder to get what she wants.  His intuition also lets him know that this seems a little more than just being upset about the soccer game.  Thinking like this about your spouse and understanding their behavior can be very helpful in a relationship. It can also help you when dealing with the silent treatment so you can analyze what’s going on.

Dealing with the silent treatment: Patience, empathy, and listening

“My dad got his preliminary test results back and now they need to send him for more. It doesn’t sound very good. I’m just upset about that. Plus, we haven’t been able to talk about it. The kids have been busy with school and sports. I was really looking forward to the car ride with you. That would have been our only real time to talk over the last couple of weeks. I’m feeling disappointed and yes, I wish you would have asked me first,” Julie explains.

“Thanks for explaining that,” Mark states. “Now it makes sense to me why you were ignoring me. You were feeling hurt. How about  I call so and so and tell him I can’t go on Saturday. I want to go with you because that’s what I said I would do. We do need that time together because things have been busy.”

Julie says, “Thank you. And if you need to reschedule something with so and so to talk about that client how about next Tuesday when you’ve been home and while I’m talking so and so to practice?”

   Guys just recognize the behavior, and think through dealing with the silent treatment.  Then draw out of her what’s really going on. Hopefully you now understand a little bit more of why women act cold, how to recognize it, and what to do to communicate effectively so your relationships gets back to normal as soon as possible.  You love one another, learn effective communication!

Our Gift Guide for Her this Christmas

Our Gift Guide for Her this Christmas

Our Gift Guide for Your Her this Christmas

    • Personalized Christmas Ornament from Pottery Barn -$8.50  Add a favorite family photo memory from this past year. Small annual contribution like these really pay off over the long haul. The return on the investment is great 20 years from now when the kids have moved out.
    • Create an at Home Spa Package filled with items she’ll love and will use more than once, but will still leave you with money to fund the kids’ 529 plans.
      • Luxurious Bubble Bath -$38
      • Velour Bath Robe with Sherpa Trim– $90-130
      • Sleeping Mask- $40
    • Buy the New York Times Best Seller, Bad Feminist. $10. You know her favorite place for some intellectual stimulation is in the bathtub.

Vulnerability in Marriage

Vulnerability in Marriage

Pornography is a topic that gets talked about a lot in some circles. Apparently there has been a steep increase in the use of pornographic material. Husbands are being tempted to use this as a replacement instead of going to their wives for sexual connection and having that need met there.

After reading about this I couldn’t help but wonder why individuals aren’t discussing what’s at the root cause of this? So some husbands are looking at pornography, okay. So that’s the symptom telling me that something else is going on in the man’s heart or is going on in that marriage relationship that needs a remedy.

A wise person once talked about couples coming together regularly as being a good indicator that those marriages were probably strong and healthy. If couples are coming together regularly for sexual connection, then other areas (emotional, spiritual, intellectual) of their marriage are probably strong and healthy too.

But for those who are experiencing some symptoms, what’s going on in the relationship that needs to be addressed and healed?

Here are two examples:

Scenario One

Life Got Busy and Physical Intimacy Got Placed On The Back Burner. 

Guys, most women are reasonable if you speak to their logical mind.

If you said, “Hey I’m feeling tempted in this area because we’re not getting it on regularly, what can we do about this? Do you need more sleep? How can I help love on you more? I want you and only you, because you’re my smokin’ hot wife.” She’s likely to appreciate your vulnerability AND be prepared, she may come back with, “Thanks for being honest. I would be more in the mood if “x” happened more often. What can we do about it?”

So this opens up the conversation in a pretty healthy and respectful way.

Listen and repeat back. 

Husbands – acknowledge your wife’s feelings and repeat back to her what she needs from you. That lets her know you’re actually taking in what’s she’s saying. She’s likely to mirror that back to you, acknowledging how you’re feeling and expressing she gets what you need from her.

Together think of win win solutions.

Set goals together. Two times a week she’ll get x from you, two times a week she’ll invite you into being sexually intimate. Everyone wins and walks away feeling heard and like they’re getting the best out of the deal.

Scenario Two:

He’s Been Emasculated.

Husband feels emasculated by his wife. She compares him negatively to other men or treats him in a way that makes him feel as though he’ll never be good enough. Or maybe this wife never acknowledges that her husband is right, which over time cuts him down. This habit over time leads to him turning to pornography because at least the fake girl in the video makes him feel good about himself temporarily.

Owning Feelings and Labeling Behavior.

The husband needs to bring this up to his wife in a way that labels her behavior, and let’s her know how her behavior is impacting him negatively. Hopefully she’ll receive this constructive criticism, start acknowledging where she was wrong and starts working to improve their relationship. If you’re husband is being vulnerable ladies, please pay attention. He is trying to tell you something is not right here and it needs to get fixed before things get worse.

These are just two examples, personalize it to fit your specific scenario.

And just a reminder men, your wife’s sexual libido is highly dependent on your pursuit of her. We ladies are designed to respond to your display of love for us. You lead here and we respond! Ladies, build up your husband and let him know you desire him physically as well.

 

 

Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day

Hey guys… It’s Valentine’s Day!

Even when your lady says she doesn’t really celebrate this holiday, she doesn’t really mean it. Plan something to acknowledge this day. Yes, I know it doesn’t make sense when she sends you conflicting messages 🙂 You think like Spock, she thinks like a girl. The sooner you begin appreciating this difference, the better off your relationship will be 🙂

Suprise her by drawing a bath, set some chocolates or whatever her favorite special treat is near the tub, turn on some sexy time invoking music, place some lit candles near the bubble bath. Go all out 🙂 Maybe hold each other while in the water, taking time caressing each other slowly. After you’re finished there, remind her you’ve been wanting to massage her gorgeous body. Get some coconut oil (the newest In organic skin care) and give her a sensual massage while music plays softly in the background. See where things go from here…

Or just be cool with her falling asleep early. Whatever way you can best show your wife you love her.

Sometimes it’s the little things that help turn her on 🙂

Do Old People Have Sex?

Do Old People Have Sex?

The great Maya Angelou wrote  on the question of “Do old people have sex?” in her book titled, Even The Stars Looks Lonesome. This entire book is a great read. Below we’ll add the link so you can buy it on Amazon, but for now, here is an excerpt:

An African American woman I know had parents who were married for forty years. The father had a lingering and painful illness during which the mother was his devoted and usually cheerful attendant. The father died. Three years later my acquaintance severed relations with her mother. The mother had dared to take up with a gentleman friend. The daughter who was 35 years old and twice divorced was repelled by the thought her mother was being intimate with a man, and displeasure stretched beyond her control.

A group of friends and acquaintances met a hotel for Sunday brunch. The unhappy woman let her horror over her mother’s friend take control over the conversation.

“What could they possibly be doing together? She’s nearly 60 and he’s got be be 65. Can you imagine them naked together? All that wrinkled skin rubbing against the other.

Her face was an ugly mask. She puckered and pouted and sulked.

“Old people shouldn’t have sex. Just thinking about that turns my stomach.”

Sitting at the table were black women, whose ages ranged from seventy to seventeen. There was silence for a moment after the tirade, then almost everyone began to speak at once.

“Are you crazy?”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Old folks don’t have sex. Who told you that lie?”

One woman waited until the clamor had subsided and asked sweetly, “What do you think your mama and daddy did after you were born? They stopped doing the do?”

The whiner answered petulantly, “You don’t have to be nasty.” The statement brought howls of derision.

“Girl you are sick!”

“Get a grip!”

And the oldest lady in the room said, “Honey, tired don’t mean lazy, and every goodbye ain’t gone.”

I was reminded of my mother when she was 74. She lived in California with my 4th stepfather, her great love, who was recovering from a mild stroke. Her telephone voice clearly told me how upset she was, “Baby, I’ve waited as long as I could before bothering you, but things have gone on  too long. Much too long.”

I made my voice as soft as hers had been hard. “Mom, what’s the matter? I’ll take care of it.”

Although I lived in North Carolina, I felt as close as the telephone, credit cards and airlines allowed me to be.

“It’s your poppa. If you don’t talk to him, I’m going to put his butt out. Out of this house. I’ll put his butt on the street.”

 The last husband of mom’s was my favorite.  We were made for each other.  He had never had a daughter and I had not known a father’s care, advice and protection since my teens.

“What did Poppa do, Mom? What is he doing?”

“Nothing. Nothing.  That’s it.  He’s not doing a damn thing.”

“But Mom, his stroke.”

“I know.  He thinks that if he has sex, he’ll bring on another stroke. The doctor already told him that isn’t true. And I got so mad when he said he might die having sex, that I told him there’s no better way to go.”

That was funny, but I knew better than to laugh.

“What can I do, Mom? Really, I mean there is nothing I can do.”

“Yes, you can.  You talk to him. He’ll listen to you. Either you talk to him or I’ll put him out on the street. I’m a woman, I’m not a damn rock.”

I knew that voice very well. I knew that she had reached her level of frustration.  She was ready to act.

I said, “OK, Mom.  I don’t know what I will say, but I’ll talk to Poppa.”

“You’d better do it soon, then.”

“Mom, you leave the house at five-thirty this evening, and I’ll telephone Poppa after you leave. Calm your heart, Mom, I’ll do my best.”

“OK, Baby, ‘bye.  I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

She was not happy, but at least she had calmed down.  I pondered throughout the day and at six o’clock California time I telephoned.”

“Hi Poppa.  How are you?”

“Hey, baby.  How you doing?” He was happy to hear my voice.

“Fine, Poppa.  Please let me speak to Mom.”

“Oh, baby, she left here ’bout a half hour ago.  Gone over to her cousin’s.”

“Well, Poppa, I’m worried about her and her appetite.  She didn’t eat today, did she?”

“Yes, she did.  Cooked crab cakes and a slaw and asparagus. We ate it all.”

“Well, she’s not drinking, is she?”

“She has a beer with me, and you can bet she’s got a Dewar’s White Label in her hand right now.”

“But, Poppa, something much be wrong.  I mean, is she playing music and cards and things?”

“We played Take 6 all day on this music system you sent us, and I know she’s playing dominoes over there with your cousin Mary.”

“Well, Poppa, you seem to think her appetite is strong.”

“Oh, yeah, baby, your momma got a good appetite.”

“That’s true, Poppa.” I lowered my voice. “All her appetites are strong.  Poppa, please excuse me – but I’m the only one to speak to you – but it’s true her love appetite is string, too, and, Poppa, please excuse me, but if you don’t take care of her in that department, she will starve to death, Poppa.” I heard him cough and sputter and clear his throat.

“Please excuse me, Poppa, but someone is at my door.  I love you, Poppa.”

There was a very weak “Bye, baby.”

My face was burning.  I made a drink for myself. I had done the best I could, and I hoped it would work.”

The next morning, about 7:00 A.M. California time, my mother’s voice gave me the result.

“Hi darling, Mother’s baby.  You are the sweetest girl in the world.  Mother just adores you.” She cooed and crooned, and I laughed for her pleasure.

Parents who tell their offspring that sex is an act performed only for procreation do everyone a serious disservice.  With absolute distress, I must say that my mom died four years after that incident, but she remains my ideal. Now in my sixties, I plan to continue to be like her when I reach my seventies, and beyond, if I’m lucky.

 

So what do you think?  Do you want to be an old person having sex?  To read more of Maya Angelou’s book, here it is on Amazon.

Best G-Spot Vibrator: JimmyJane Form 6 Review

Best G-Spot Vibrator: JimmyJane Form 6 Review

Question: What is the best g-spot vibrator of all the g-spot vibrators on the market?

Answer: The JimmyJane Form 6.  Read our Ultimate G-Spot Vibrator Review for the comparison between this one and 4 others.  In this post, we will provide a more detailed JimmyJane Form 6 review and talk through all of the amazing things about this product, along with the few things that we would change about it.

The JimmyJane Form 6

So what is so great about this thing that makes it the best g-spot vibrator?  Let’s skip right past the packaging – that’s not amazing like the Lelo products.  But who cares about the packaging –  who buys a vibrator for the box?  Let’s talk about this vibrator itself:

Material

The JimmyJane Form 6 is made of medical grade silicone.  It’s totally hypoallergenic, so anyone like me who has sensitive skin – or just generally cares what materials are used sexually – should have no problem with the materials on this vibrator.  But that’s not what makes it the best g-spot vibrator.  What does is the slight drag on the silicone that helps to create some friction while the vibrator is in use.  One of the reasons that condoms are terrible is that you don’t get that natural friction that comes from a penis.  This is one of the best vibrator materials that I have seen that helps to create this natural feeling.  It doesn’t come close to the real thing and I’ll take my husband’s penis any day of the week, but the material on the JimmyJane Form 6 is pretty great, especially when compared with others on the market.

Double-Sided!

This is the other main factor that makes the JimmyJane Form 6 the best g-spot vibrator on the market.  There is a motor in both ends, and both ends can be used internally, which is pretty awesome.  It is pretty great to have a single sex toy where you can use the smaller end for g-spot stimulation, especially due to it’s higher curve on this side, then flip it over and use the longer wider end for some deeper penetration and friction action.

Girth and Shape

Another great attribute about the JimmyJane Form 6 is it’s size.  The smaller end is pretty easy to start out with since it has a smaller circumference, but once you are excited and used to the smaller end, the girth of the wider end takes an exciting several seconds to get used to.

The JimmyJane Form 6 is also the vibrator in this high-end vibrator class that most closely resembles a penis shape.  It’s not perfectly round, and it doesn’t have a flattened head.  It’s more shaped like a very rounded triangle, similar to a fully erect penis shaft.  For that, it gets top marks.

Controls

The controls are the one thing that I would change about this vibrator.  Though it is nice to have the control buttons hidden so that the toy can be used double-sided, the intensity buttons and the pattern buttons are actually on the larger end of the toy.  The buttons are indicated by slight raised symbols in the material, which are pushed down on.  While in use, sometimes it is challenging to find these buttons.  The pattern buttons are even more challenging to find since they’re found vertically on the shaft.  Once you get this bad girl in, you don’t really want to take it out to fiddle around with the controls before reinserting.

What would be ideal is if there was a separate control, similar to the Lelo Tiani 24k

Summary

So, we think the JimmyJane Form 6 is the best g-spot vibrator out on the market today, despite the difficult controls.  It’s pretty expensive, but you get what you pay for in this case.  What do you think?  Leave your comments below!

Here is a link to the best offer I have seen for the JimmyJane Form 6:

The Ultimate G-Spot Vibrator Review!

How to you choose the best g-spot vibrator? There are so many g-spot vibrators on the market today.  How are you supposed to choose between them?  We decided to create a comprehensive g-spot vibrator review to help choose from among the various options.  It’s not like you can try one on and ask for a different size like they were a pair of pants.  No one wants to visit that consignment shop.

For the purposes of this blog, we will only focus on g-spot vibrators and not rabbit vibrators, which are the dual-action vibes massaging the g-spot and the clitoris at the same time.  The Ultimate Rabbit Vibrator Review will be coming soon…

Which g-spot vibrator is the best on the market?

Let’s start with eliminating 90% of the g-spot vibrators right off the bat.  You do not want anything made with cheap materials that are potentially hazardous, irritating, or allergenic.  If your approach so far has been to walk into a Spencer Gifts (been there!) or Walgreens and find one that looks okay, you’re doing it all wrong.  However, that doesn’t mean you need to spend $200 for a good g-spot vibrator!

For this review, I’m going to focus on the top 5 g-spot vibrators (in my opinion), covering several brands and styles.  The list below is not in order of preference just yet, just the order in which the vibrators were reviewed:
JimmyJane Form 6 G-Spot Vibrator

JimmyJane FORM 6

The JimmyJane Form 6 looks kind of like a small bent bowling pin (but much smaller)!  Both sides are usable internally and externally, and I find that after a nice warmup with the smaller side, the larger side is pretty wonderful.  The head of the Form 6 is actually the largest in diameter of any of the toys on this list, and you will notice the difference.  I also noticed that the JimmyJane Form 6 has the strongest vibration of all of them – potentially due to the larger size being able to pack more punch.

The dual motors also seem to give it significantly more consistent vibration, rather than just at one end of the toy.  However, this can lead to a little bit of numb-hand after a session – a small price to pay for a powerful orgasm.

I have seen different stats about the insertable length of the Form 6, but it seems to be a little under 5 inches, and you notice the difference between it and the Lelo Mona 2.
 
Je Joue G-Kii G-Spot Vibrator

Je Joue G-Kii

If you have never found your g-spot before, hold on and get ready for some involuntary toe-curling and leg squeezing orgasms!  The G-Kii is the queen of finding and massaging your g-spot, no matter your anatomy or body type.  As you can see in the picture, the key feature of the Je Joue G-Kii (a tongue twister if there ever was one) can be adjusted to several different shapes to meet your anatomy.  Just try one and if you aren’t satisfied, curve some more and try again!  This entry sort of breaks the rule for this review of g-spot-only vibrators, because the G-Kii can actually be fully bent in half to provide clitoral stimulation as well, though I wasn’t terribly impressed with that ability and would rather just use a clit-specific vibrator while using this at the same time.

Lelo Gigi 2 G-Spot Vibrator

Lelo Gigi 2

The Lelo Gigi 2 is specifically designed to reach your g-spot.  It is absolutely wonderful, though as with all of Lelo’s products, it is rather expensive.  The Gigi is smaller than the Mona, and the flattened head is designed to be specifically pressed against the g-spot whereas most of the other toys here have significantly more volume.  If you are newer to toys or are rather on the small side, you may want to consider the Gigi 2 first because some of the others can be rather uncomfortable if you’re a newcomer.

The Lelo Gigi 2 is also slightly shorter than the other toys here at a little under 4 inches of insertable length.  It’s not intended to be a thrusting-type dildo-vibe, but a g-spot specific massager, which it does a terrific job at.

As a clitoral vibrator, the Gigi is probably the second-best of the five here, next to the Lelo Mona 2.
Lelo Mona 2 G-Spot Vibrator

Lelo Mona 2

The Lelo Mona 2 as described in my previous review is my favorite g-spot vibrator from Lelo.  It has a larger bulb top, which after I’m warmed up after some clitoral stimulation slides gently in with a very nice filling feeling.  The Mona 2’s size and shape differentiate it from the Gigi 2 significantly.  Because of the shape of the head, it gives the user some room for thrusting while keeping in contact with the g-spot.  Once you are really into it, the shape of the head also allows you to pull it out most of the way, giving you that nice stretching feeling toward the bottom of your vagina before you slide it back in – if you like that sort of thing.

The Mona 2 isn’t the longest of the vibrators being reviewed, though it’s respectable at about 4.3 inches of insertable length, which is plenty for me.
Je Joue Uma G-Spot Vibrator

Je Joue Uma

Je Joue is a little less known than some of the larger brands like Lelo, but they are no newcomer, and they have done a pretty outstanding job with their products.  The Uma has a pretty similar shape as the JimmyJane Form 6, though it is not quite as large and only one side is intended for use.

The Je Joue Uma also gives you a significantly larger handle to hold onto than the JimmyJane Form 6.  It is less tapered than the Form 6, so it slides more comfortably.

If you are looking for a first g-spot toy, I would recommend either the Je Joue Uma or the Lelo Gigi 2.

 

How this G-Spot Vibrator Review was Done

I didn’t feel like previous experience with these vibrators or using them individually in separate sessions was going to do justice to the review and comparison.  After all, moods, time of day, exhaustion, and a multitude of factors can impact any individual sex session.  So I decided to have one session where I used all 5 vibrators in order to have as close to a “side-by-side” comparison as possible.

I loosened up with a bubble bath soak in the tub to prepare myself for the onslaught of vibrations ahead and get my head relieved from any other thoughts so my mind was solely on the wonderful task at hand.  I dictated some notes to my hubby bubby who faithfully jotted them down as we went, as well as his own observations.  Frankly, I think he enjoyed the show!

 

The results

This approach to the g-spot vibrator review was both the most wonderful and the most frustrating idea ever.  I won’t go into the details of the review experience, since those intimate details are for my hubby alone, but I will let you know that I was able to try all 5 each a few times (but just barely) in the same session before finally letting my favorite of the group take me over the edge.  So which toy won???

(Note: Artistic license taken while writing this review)

 

Here are my top 5 in order:

  1. JimmyJane FORM 6
  2. Je Joue G-Kii
  3. Lelo Mona 2
  4. Lelo Gigi 2
  5. Je Joue Uma

In the end, after trying each of these side by side, the JimmyJane FORM 6 took the crown as the winner!  The larger size, rumbly and high intensity was just a level above the rest of the group, though each toy is incredibly enjoyable.  It is the most expensive g-spot vibrator in the group, but not by much from the Amazon links below.  You really can’t go wrong when buying any of these top of the line toys, but you can definitely go wrong by purchasing a cheaper toy.  And when you end up using it about 500 times, you’ll realize it was worth it to spring for the higher quality.

Here are some links to where to purchase each of these on Amazon, which I would highly recommend versus buying from the manufacturers since Amazon has lower prices and faster, free shipping.

So what do you think of our g-spot vibrator review?  Please let us know in the comments below!

Edit: also check out our review of our top 5 clitoral vibrators!

Other Products you may be Interested in:

Signs of a Healthy Relationship

Signs of a Healthy Relationship

Psychology Today posted an article on 50 characteristics of a healthy relationship. Below we’ll list out our top 25 signs of a healthy relationship. Go through the list with your partner and discuss.

  1. You and your partner are playful with one another
  2. You think your partner has smart ideas at times
  3. You think about each other when you can’t be physically close
  4. You trust your partner
  5. When you disagree, you’re both able to be sensible and at least see the other persons’ point of view
  6. Your partner is happy when things go well for you, and vice versa
  7. You reminisce about past things that have been positive
  8. You touch each other every day in the form of hugs and kisses
  9. Your partner is a safe place to be vulnerable about fears, worries, insecurities, failures, etc.
  10. You can list positive personality traits your partner inherited from his parents
  11. You both provide each other with a sense of security- knowing the other will be faithful in the relationship and also won’t jeopardize finances
  12. You express appreciation for the other regularly
  13. You sense your individual strengths complement one another
  14. You’re okay taking constructive feedback from your partner
  15. When you hear, You’re Body Is a Wonderland, you immediately think of your partner
  16. You can appreciate the ways you’ve grown as individuals and as a couple
  17. When you’re dealing with life stressors, you can turn to your partner for comfort
  18. You feel as though you’re teammates with your partner, working together to accomplish great things together
  19. You know facts about your partner’s childhood and understand their family relationships a bit
  20. You feel comfortable challenging one another
  21. You view your partner as a warm and gentle spirit
  22. You make each other laugh
  23. You get along with at least one of your partner’s friends
  24. You rarely have contempt for your partner
  25. When arguments happen you still feel as though your partner cares about your feelings

Sexual Motivation – Keep that Hubby Working Hard!

Sexual Motivation – Keep that Hubby Working Hard!

Alright ladies, you’re the boss of your organization, just one of the many responsibilities you have. You know you want your husband to keep performing his job well, but he needs to stay motivated. So what is one of his top motivators outside of money? SEX as reinforcement!

How often should you make sure he is earning his reinforcement? Twice a week is a pretty reasonable amount of time for most couples. How do you make sure you’re getting the top performance for the set wage you’re paying him (again sex twice a week)? Here’s where I need to explain some psychology concepts for you to learn and then figure out how to best apply this knowledge in order to run your organization, um, I mean, marriage and household…

Reinforcement is a term used when describing a stimulus that helps learn a desired behavior or maintain a desired behavior. Positive reinforcement is used to strengthen a behavior and increase the likelihood that the desired behavior will happen again. So say you want to reinforce your husband for working hard as a provider and being a great husband/dad, he needs to be rewarded with sex from you in order to know he’s doing a good job and that he should keep doing those desired behaviors well 🙂

Now that you understand what reinforcement is and why it’s important, let’s talk a moment about schedules of reinforcement.

Really, when it comes to a schedule of reinforcement for sex, you’re going to chose from either a fixed interval schedule or a variable ratio schedule.

A fixed interval schedule is the idea behind earning a paycheck every two weeks. You know exactly when you’ll receive the reward. It usually produces high responding near the end of the interval, like right before you collect your paycheck, and then lower responding right after you earned the reinforcer. So maybe you pay your hubby once every week on Saturday nights.

A variable ratio schedule is what’s used by employers’s when giving out bonuses or special trips for top performers. The reinforcer (sex) is released after an unpredictable amount of responding (working as a provider and being an awesome head of the household). This type of schedule leads to a higher rate of responding (or desired behavior/performance), because you don’t know when exactly you’ll be rewarded so you keep trying hard. A great example of a variable ratio 5 schedule was posted on Psychology.About.com. To summarize you’re hubby may be reinforced with sex after three full days of working and being an awesome hubby/dad, after 5 days, or after 7 days and so on. The delivery of the reinforcer is unpredictable, but it would average out to be every 5 days.

In order to run your marriage and household at maximize capacity, it might be helpful to do a combination here of a fixed interval schedule along with a variable ratio schedule. Hubby gets paid every Saturday night, and also gets surprise sex one other night during the week. Sex the second time of the week is unpredictable when it occurs, some weeks its Monday, some weeks its Wednesday, some weeks its Friday, etc.

Hopefully you get the idea. Keep that hubby motivated work to work like a boss and to be active and present on the home front!

Questions To Ask Before Having Sex

Questions To Ask Before Having Sex

Ladies, your sexual history and your guys sex history are de gran importancia. Below we’ll give you questions to ask before having sex.

STI’s are real! Can you remember back to when you were in 7th grade health class and your health educator shared the STI slideshow? Back then that may have been enough to stop you from engaging in sexual activity, but unfortunately, some where along the way people go against common sense and engage with sexual activity with a partner or many partners without asking some important questions first.

Here will give you a guide of questions to ask:

You might start off by talking about how you care about your partner and because of that you want to be honest with him and you expect him to be honest with you. You also might mention that you feel you’re both mature enough to discuss this topic and you don’t intend to judge him with this information, but rather its to protect each other. It might be awkward at first, but it’s really better in the long run so…

  1. Are you a virgin?
  2. What sexual activity have you engaged in? Sexual intercourse? Oral sex?
  3. Have you come in contact with someone else’s genitals?
  4. How many partners have you had?
  5. Do you know how many partners you’re partners have had?
  6. Do you know if any of your partners had any sexually transmitted diseases?
  7. Are you aware of having any symptoms of sexually transmitted diseases?
  8. Has there ever been a time when you’ve passed out from drinking and suspect you may have engaged in sexual activity? Please watch your alcohol consumption, it’s for your safety!
  9. Did you use a condom every time you engaged in sexual intercourse?
  10. How did you protect yourself from transmission of STIs during oral sex?
  11. How long were you in each relationship before engaging in sexual activity?
  12. What commitment level are you expecting from me before we engage in sexual activity?

This list is not exhaustive, but should help you along with the conversation. We sure hope you put thought into your relationship, feel safe enough to disclose this information with your partner, and consider the consequences if either of you are not completely honest with one another. Hopefully, your partner is being honest, but the only way to know with 100% certainty is by getting medical test results.

Health officials decided to rename sexually transmitted diseases to sexually transmitted infections because many sexually transmitted infections are lifelong, meaning there are no known cure for them. Luckily symptoms can be managed with proper care. Below we’ll share the most common STIs and a link to the Mayo Clinic for additional information. If you haven’t been sexually active with anyone and have remained abstinent then that’s great news! On the other hand, if you’ve had even one sexual partner we would recommend asking for STI testing for yourself and for your future partner.

Now, we’ll provide links for each common STIs.

HPV

Genital Herpes 

Chlamydia

Gonorrhea

HIV/AIDS 

Syphilis