6 Reasons to Use Coconut Oil as Lube and as Massage Oil

Looking for that perfect massage oil that works both for massaging and for sex? Well look no further – coconut oil is the solution! “Cononut oil as lube? Really? I was thinking something like Astroglide or KY or something, Bobby…” No. Trust me, if there’s one thing you do today that will improve your sex life, please, please buy some good quality coconut oil, preferably the suggested ones at the links below, and try coconut oil as lube the next time you have sex!!

Still don’t believe me? Here are six sex reasons you should use coconut oil as lube… and as a massage oil!

coconut oil as lube and sex massage oil

Reason 1: You can use coconut oil as lube AND as a massage oil!

Say you want to start out your sex time together with a massage to lighten things up and get things moving… but hold on – you can’t use most massage oil for sex!  That’s right – you can rub his or her back and legs, but then you have to wash your hands and switch lubricants to something like Astroglide… and that throws the whole sexual vibe off.

Coconut oil is perfect for  the FULL BODY massage, and when you get into massaging that inner thigh area, you don’t have to be careful to keep it out of her vagina or off of his penis… Enjoy a nice butt massage?  Coconut oil is perfect!  Transition straight from massaging back to legs to bum, right into some great, relaxed lubricated sex!  Really, coconut oil is the only solution we’ve found that you can use for everything.

But what about using a personal sex lubricant for massaging?  Well that’s okay, but with the amount you’re going to use, it will get pretty expensive using Astroglide or KY for a full body massage.  Plus there’s reason 2…

Reason 2: Coconut oil doesn’t leave a residue on your skin!

The real drawback is that Astroglide or KY weren’t meant for full body massaging and will leave a residue on your skin.  Who wants to have to take a shower after sex to rinse off the residue?  Don’t you want to just fall into a wonderfully exhausted and satisfied sleep?  The same issue applies when you are using lots of lotion for a massage – at some point the lotion will start to cause a buildup because you need to keep applying it.

Coconut oil doesn’t leave a residue.  It’s actually really good for your skin and hair!  So … triple purpose … sex lubricant, massage oil, skin moisturizer!  Awesome.  When you start to use it, remember to come back here and write a comment to thank me 🙂

Reason 3: It’s inexpensive!

That’s right… coconut oil is incredibly inexpensive.  For $20, you can have enough coconut oil for a LOT of massaging!  You could spend $15 for 3 oz of KY Touch 2-in-1, or you could spend $15 for 30 oz of coconut oil that will perform better and last longer… the math is pretty easy to me!

Reason 4: Coconut oil is all natural and safe to use

Coconut oil has been shown to be safe for sex, and thousands of people use it regularly.  From everyone we have talked to and from everything we have read on the topic, coconut oil is the best all-natural product out there that is safe for sex.  This is the main hurdle for many people – using something that’s not branded like KY.  But from all of the accounts out there, using pure virgin coconut oil is a great alternative to the name brands.  Here’s the kicker – it’s anti-bacterial and anti-fungal.  Really.  No need to keep it in the frig or toss it after 2 weeks.

Reason 5: Coconut oil lasts forever – no need to keep applying

The issue with using a water-based lubricant is that it’s WATER-based… that means the water evaporates, leaving a residue from the other products added to the water, and you need to keep applying more and more of it.  This is the same issue with using lotion for massages.

Coconut oil just keeps lubricating and lubricating… Once you have your wife’s legs or back or butt or breasts covered in coconut oil, there’s no need to keep going back for more!  Just keep massaging while listening to some Robin Thicke…

Reason 6: Coconut oil is great for your skin

Your skin needs oils.  It has natural oils that are lost when using soap in the hot shower or bath.  Coconut oil really helps replace some of those natural skin oils.  Did we say it’s good for your hair too?  Yes, that’s right – skin, hair, private parts, everything!

 

So have I convinced you yet?  I wouldn’t write this enthusiastically for something that doesn’t work well.  Using coconut oil as lube has really opened up a whole new dimension on sex for us, and we recommend it to our close friends and family.  Here are a couple products on Amazon that we really have tried and recommend:

3 Steps to Increase the Female Libido!!!

In today’s post, let’s tackle a question that many married men wonder: “How do you get your wife in the mood?”  She is either uninterested in sex, bored with sex, too stressed to have sex, or too busy and tired to have sex.  Or, all too often, you and your wife have fallen into a rut in your marriage so sex is just becoming more and more rare.  You’re still interested, but she seems to be off in her own separate world or doesn’t want to put forth the energy to have sex.  So how do you increase the female libido after it’s been on the decline for so long?

Increase the female libido

Step 1 to increase the female libido: make your wife feel attractive.

This step is going to take the most effort.  It is also going to take some humility, focus, and just genuine thought on your part as a husband.  The thing about increasing the female libido is that there is no simple fix.  It takes time.  There is no magic bullet.

In our post called Keeping Her Interested: It’s all in Her Head, we discussed the differences between the way that men and women think about sex.  Here, let’s take it a step further.  Beyond being relaxed and having some relief from the stress of daily life, the most important thing that a husband can do for his wife’s sex drive is to make her feel attractive.  But how?

Be attracted to her

… get this… just be attracted to her.  Genuinely.  Why?  Because, out of the heart the mouth speaks.  I’ll save this topic for a post another day, but one key piece here is to only find sexual satisfaction from your wife.  No looking at magazines with half-naked ladies inside, no checking out the girl in the office repeatedly… just save all of that for your wife.  You’ll be surprised at how the sex appeal of your wife starts to multiply when she’s the only well you’re drinking from.

Be over the top with telling her how attractive she is

Make her blush with your praise.  Tell her specific things about how gorgeous she is.  Be genuine and tell her something like, “Baby, your [fill in the blank] is looking so good today!  Mmm!!”  But it starts with genuinely being attracted to her.  Then you won’t be able to stop telling her that she’s beautiful and you’ll have to put a filter on it because you’re in public!

Touch her

Frequently, if she’s not opposed to it, let your hands be all over her all day, complementing the verbal praise.  Couples who touch frequently naturally feel closer.  Touch is also just another good method of communication, so your wife won’t just hear what you’re saying, she’ll feel it also.

Buy her clothes

Gifts are another form of communication and display of love.  Getting her an attractive article of clothing – maybe not even lingerie or underwear, but maybe a top that shows off her cleavage – is also a great way to show her you’re attracted to her.  Make sure it’s something she’ll actually wear and it’s the right size.

Exercise with her

Exercise naturally helps us to feel attractive, and doing it together is a great way to bond.  Make sure it’s a positive experience and you both feel accomplished.  When she does something – treadmill, weights, Zumba, whatever – make sure you tell her that she’s doing awesome and you find it attractive that she’s working hard.

Step 2 to increase the female libido: Set the mood ALL DAY LONG

Now that your wife feels attractive, the next step to increasing her libido is to feed her mind with good sexual thoughts all day.  You guys can just turn it on at the flip of a switch, but your wife likely takes a lot longer to warm up.  Anticipation is the name of the game here!  Now, think to yourself about what turns your wife on in a good way.  Does she like knowing there’s a sexy gift waiting for her or that you have a new position in mind?  Does she love massages and want to take time to enjoy the build up?

Bring awesome sex Back to the Future!

Here’s a great idea – earlier in the day, reflect out loud with her on a time where the sex was really really good… maybe you were on vacation and did something amazing.  Conjuring that mental image for her will get her mind thinking about that scenario for a while.  Just make sure your kids aren’t around so you don’t totally gross them out 🙂

Make sure she knows you have plenty of time

There’s little anticipation of a 10 minute sex quickie.  Make sure she knows that the kids are off at their friends places and you won’t be interrupted for your hour-long session of sexual pleasure 🙂  To increase the female libido takes time and patience, but it’s well worth it!

No distractions

Sink full of dirty dishes on the mind?  Giant pile of laundry to fold?  Completely exhausted from chasing the kids around?  These are things that will get in your wife’s way in her mind… remove these blockers and make sure she has no worries…

Step 3 to increase the female libido: Make her the priority

When your wife feels attractive and she’s anticipating awesome sex, you can’t go wrong, right?  Wrong.  Don’t just dive right in and orgasm within the first 5 minutes and ask her how wonderful she thought it was.  You’ll ruin the buildup.  You want a sexual excursion that you can reflect on again with her in the future to turn her on again… here are some pointers:

Set the atmosphere

Okay guys.  Here’s the good sexual atmosphere checklist:

  1. Room smells nice – nicely scented candles (see the link below for our FAVORITE)
  2. Comfortable setup – bed is nicely made, lots of pillows, etc.
  3. Clean – no clutter!!! If your nightstand has a half-eaten banana on it, your wife is not going to get it on with you… Please clean the room!!!
  4. Good music!  Set the playlist… sexy-romantic at the beginning… think 5 – 6 songs from Robin Thicke… then transitioning into some more explicit music for the main event… think Beyonce’s Dance for You

Help her relax – give her a massage

Please, do yourself a favor and get a good massage setup.  It will pay dividends, trust me!  No more dry massage and no more passing off lotion as massage oil.  It’s not the same thing.  See the link below for some different coconut oil options and read our upcoming blog entry on 6 Reasons Why Coconut Oil is the Best Sex Massage Oil! Really, this is the best thing you will discover and it will open whole new roads to your sex life.

 

So there you have it!  Three easy steps with a ton of suggestions to increase your wife’s sex libido… What do you think? Do you have any more libido increasing suggestions?

Vulnerability in Marriage

Vulnerability in Marriage

Pornography is a topic that gets talked about a lot in some circles. Apparently there has been a steep increase in the use of pornographic material. Husbands are being tempted to use this as a replacement instead of going to their wives for sexual connection and having that need met there.

After reading about this I couldn’t help but wonder why individuals aren’t discussing what’s at the root cause of this? So some husbands are looking at pornography, okay. So that’s the symptom telling me that something else is going on in the man’s heart or is going on in that marriage relationship that needs a remedy.

A wise person once talked about couples coming together regularly as being a good indicator that those marriages were probably strong and healthy. If couples are coming together regularly for sexual connection, then other areas (emotional, spiritual, intellectual) of their marriage are probably strong and healthy too.

But for those who are experiencing some symptoms, what’s going on in the relationship that needs to be addressed and healed?

Here are two examples:

Scenario One

Life Got Busy and Physical Intimacy Got Placed On The Back Burner. 

Guys, most women are reasonable if you speak to their logical mind.

If you said, “Hey I’m feeling tempted in this area because we’re not getting it on regularly, what can we do about this? Do you need more sleep? How can I help love on you more? I want you and only you, because you’re my smokin’ hot wife.” She’s likely to appreciate your vulnerability AND be prepared, she may come back with, “Thanks for being honest. I would be more in the mood if “x” happened more often. What can we do about it?”

So this opens up the conversation in a pretty healthy and respectful way.

Listen and repeat back. 

Husbands – acknowledge your wife’s feelings and repeat back to her what she needs from you. That lets her know you’re actually taking in what’s she’s saying. She’s likely to mirror that back to you, acknowledging how you’re feeling and expressing she gets what you need from her.

Together think of win win solutions.

Set goals together. Two times a week she’ll get x from you, two times a week she’ll invite you into being sexually intimate. Everyone wins and walks away feeling heard and like they’re getting the best out of the deal.

Scenario Two:

He’s Been Emasculated.

Husband feels emasculated by his wife. She compares him negatively to other men or treats him in a way that makes him feel as though he’ll never be good enough. Or maybe this wife never acknowledges that her husband is right, which over time cuts him down. This habit over time leads to him turning to pornography because at least the fake girl in the video makes him feel good about himself temporarily.

Owning Feelings and Labeling Behavior.

The husband needs to bring this up to his wife in a way that labels her behavior, and let’s her know how her behavior is impacting him negatively. Hopefully she’ll receive this constructive criticism, start acknowledging where she was wrong and starts working to improve their relationship. If you’re husband is being vulnerable ladies, please pay attention. He is trying to tell you something is not right here and it needs to get fixed before things get worse.

These are just two examples, personalize it to fit your specific scenario.

And just a reminder men, your wife’s sexual libido is highly dependent on your pursuit of her. We ladies are designed to respond to your display of love for us. You lead here and we respond! Ladies, build up your husband and let him know you desire him physically as well.

 

 

Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day

Hey guys… It’s Valentine’s Day!

Even when your lady says she doesn’t really celebrate this holiday, she doesn’t really mean it. Plan something to acknowledge this day. Yes, I know it doesn’t make sense when she sends you conflicting messages 🙂 You think like Spock, she thinks like a girl. The sooner you begin appreciating this difference, the better off your relationship will be 🙂

Suprise her by drawing a bath, set some chocolates or whatever her favorite special treat is near the tub, turn on some sexy time invoking music, place some lit candles near the bubble bath. Go all out 🙂 Maybe hold each other while in the water, taking time caressing each other slowly. After you’re finished there, remind her you’ve been wanting to massage her gorgeous body. Get some coconut oil (the newest In organic skin care) and give her a sensual massage while music plays softly in the background. See where things go from here…

Or just be cool with her falling asleep early. Whatever way you can best show your wife you love her.

Sometimes it’s the little things that help turn her on 🙂

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Do Old People Have Sex?

Do Old People Have Sex?

The great Maya Angelou wrote  on the question of “Do old people have sex?” in her book titled, Even The Stars Looks Lonesome. This entire book is a great read. Below we’ll add the link so you can buy it on Amazon, but for now, here is an excerpt:

An African American woman I know had parents who were married for forty years. The father had a lingering and painful illness during which the mother was his devoted and usually cheerful attendant. The father died. Three years later my acquaintance severed relations with her mother. The mother had dared to take up with a gentleman friend. The daughter who was 35 years old and twice divorced was repelled by the thought her mother was being intimate with a man, and displeasure stretched beyond her control.

A group of friends and acquaintances met a hotel for Sunday brunch. The unhappy woman let her horror over her mother’s friend take control over the conversation.

“What could they possibly be doing together? She’s nearly 60 and he’s got be be 65. Can you imagine them naked together? All that wrinkled skin rubbing against the other.

Her face was an ugly mask. She puckered and pouted and sulked.

“Old people shouldn’t have sex. Just thinking about that turns my stomach.”

Sitting at the table were black women, whose ages ranged from seventy to seventeen. There was silence for a moment after the tirade, then almost everyone began to speak at once.

“Are you crazy?”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Old folks don’t have sex. Who told you that lie?”

One woman waited until the clamor had subsided and asked sweetly, “What do you think your mama and daddy did after you were born? They stopped doing the do?”

The whiner answered petulantly, “You don’t have to be nasty.” The statement brought howls of derision.

“Girl you are sick!”

“Get a grip!”

And the oldest lady in the room said, “Honey, tired don’t mean lazy, and every goodbye ain’t gone.”

I was reminded of my mother when she was 74. She lived in California with my 4th stepfather, her great love, who was recovering from a mild stroke. Her telephone voice clearly told me how upset she was, “Baby, I’ve waited as long as I could before bothering you, but things have gone on  too long. Much too long.”

I made my voice as soft as hers had been hard. “Mom, what’s the matter? I’ll take care of it.”

Although I lived in North Carolina, I felt as close as the telephone, credit cards and airlines allowed me to be.

“It’s your poppa. If you don’t talk to him, I’m going to put his butt out. Out of this house. I’ll put his butt on the street.”

 The last husband of mom’s was my favorite.  We were made for each other.  He had never had a daughter and I had not known a father’s care, advice and protection since my teens.

“What did Poppa do, Mom? What is he doing?”

“Nothing. Nothing.  That’s it.  He’s not doing a damn thing.”

“But Mom, his stroke.”

“I know.  He thinks that if he has sex, he’ll bring on another stroke. The doctor already told him that isn’t true. And I got so mad when he said he might die having sex, that I told him there’s no better way to go.”

That was funny, but I knew better than to laugh.

“What can I do, Mom? Really, I mean there is nothing I can do.”

“Yes, you can.  You talk to him. He’ll listen to you. Either you talk to him or I’ll put him out on the street. I’m a woman, I’m not a damn rock.”

I knew that voice very well. I knew that she had reached her level of frustration.  She was ready to act.

I said, “OK, Mom.  I don’t know what I will say, but I’ll talk to Poppa.”

“You’d better do it soon, then.”

“Mom, you leave the house at five-thirty this evening, and I’ll telephone Poppa after you leave. Calm your heart, Mom, I’ll do my best.”

“OK, Baby, ‘bye.  I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

She was not happy, but at least she had calmed down.  I pondered throughout the day and at six o’clock California time I telephoned.”

“Hi Poppa.  How are you?”

“Hey, baby.  How you doing?” He was happy to hear my voice.

“Fine, Poppa.  Please let me speak to Mom.”

“Oh, baby, she left here ’bout a half hour ago.  Gone over to her cousin’s.”

“Well, Poppa, I’m worried about her and her appetite.  She didn’t eat today, did she?”

“Yes, she did.  Cooked crab cakes and a slaw and asparagus. We ate it all.”

“Well, she’s not drinking, is she?”

“She has a beer with me, and you can bet she’s got a Dewar’s White Label in her hand right now.”

“But, Poppa, something much be wrong.  I mean, is she playing music and cards and things?”

“We played Take 6 all day on this music system you sent us, and I know she’s playing dominoes over there with your cousin Mary.”

“Well, Poppa, you seem to think her appetite is strong.”

“Oh, yeah, baby, your momma got a good appetite.”

“That’s true, Poppa.” I lowered my voice. “All her appetites are strong.  Poppa, please excuse me – but I’m the only one to speak to you – but it’s true her love appetite is string, too, and, Poppa, please excuse me, but if you don’t take care of her in that department, she will starve to death, Poppa.” I heard him cough and sputter and clear his throat.

“Please excuse me, Poppa, but someone is at my door.  I love you, Poppa.”

There was a very weak “Bye, baby.”

My face was burning.  I made a drink for myself. I had done the best I could, and I hoped it would work.”

The next morning, about 7:00 A.M. California time, my mother’s voice gave me the result.

“Hi darling, Mother’s baby.  You are the sweetest girl in the world.  Mother just adores you.” She cooed and crooned, and I laughed for her pleasure.

Parents who tell their offspring that sex is an act performed only for procreation do everyone a serious disservice.  With absolute distress, I must say that my mom died four years after that incident, but she remains my ideal. Now in my sixties, I plan to continue to be like her when I reach my seventies, and beyond, if I’m lucky.

 

So what do you think?  Do you want to be an old person having sex?  To read more of Maya Angelou’s book, here it is on Amazon.

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Best G-Spot Vibrator: JimmyJane Form 6 Review

Best G-Spot Vibrator: JimmyJane Form 6 Review

Question: What is the best g-spot vibrator of all the g-spot vibrators on the market?

Answer: The JimmyJane Form 6.  Read our Ultimate G-Spot Vibrator Review for the comparison between this one and 4 others.  In this post, we will provide a more detailed JimmyJane Form 6 review and talk through all of the amazing things about this product, along with the few things that we would change about it.

The JimmyJane Form 6

So what is so great about this thing that makes it the best g-spot vibrator?  Let’s skip right past the packaging – that’s not amazing like the Lelo products.  But who cares about the packaging –  who buys a vibrator for the box?  Let’s talk about this vibrator itself:

Material

The JimmyJane Form 6 is made of medical grade silicone.  It’s totally hypoallergenic, so anyone like me who has sensitive skin – or just generally cares what materials are used sexually – should have no problem with the materials on this vibrator.  But that’s not what makes it the best g-spot vibrator.  What does is the slight drag on the silicone that helps to create some friction while the vibrator is in use.  One of the reasons that condoms are terrible is that you don’t get that natural friction that comes from a penis.  This is one of the best vibrator materials that I have seen that helps to create this natural feeling.  It doesn’t come close to the real thing and I’ll take my husband’s penis any day of the week, but the material on the JimmyJane Form 6 is pretty great, especially when compared with others on the market.

Double-Sided!

This is the other main factor that makes the JimmyJane Form 6 the best g-spot vibrator on the market.  There is a motor in both ends, and both ends can be used internally, which is pretty awesome.  It is pretty great to have a single sex toy where you can use the smaller end for g-spot stimulation, especially due to it’s higher curve on this side, then flip it over and use the longer wider end for some deeper penetration and friction action.

Girth and Shape

Another great attribute about the JimmyJane Form 6 is it’s size.  The smaller end is pretty easy to start out with since it has a smaller circumference, but once you are excited and used to the smaller end, the girth of the wider end takes an exciting several seconds to get used to.

The JimmyJane Form 6 is also the vibrator in this high-end vibrator class that most closely resembles a penis shape.  It’s not perfectly round, and it doesn’t have a flattened head.  It’s more shaped like a very rounded triangle, similar to a fully erect penis shaft.  For that, it gets top marks.

Controls

The controls are the one thing that I would change about this vibrator.  Though it is nice to have the control buttons hidden so that the toy can be used double-sided, the intensity buttons and the pattern buttons are actually on the larger end of the toy.  The buttons are indicated by slight raised symbols in the material, which are pushed down on.  While in use, sometimes it is challenging to find these buttons.  The pattern buttons are even more challenging to find since they’re found vertically on the shaft.  Once you get this bad girl in, you don’t really want to take it out to fiddle around with the controls before reinserting.

What would be ideal is if there was a separate control, similar to the Lelo Tiani 24k

Summary

So, we think the JimmyJane Form 6 is the best g-spot vibrator out on the market today, despite the difficult controls.  It’s pretty expensive, but you get what you pay for in this case.  What do you think?  Leave your comments below!

Here is a link to the best offer I have seen for the JimmyJane Form 6:

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Christian Sex Toys??

So you believe in Jesus.  Awesome.  You don’t look at pornography or skeezy sites on the internet.  Cool.  You have sexual needs.  What???

Yes, you’re still human when you’re a Christian, and those sexual desires don’t change when you put your faith in Jesus.  So then the question comes up: what is okay and what is not okay for Christians to do sexually?  Can Christians use a vibrator?  What about a clitoral vibrator versus a g-spot vibrator? There’s a whole spectrum of sexual things you can do outside of normal intercourse.  But what is okay to do without committing a sin?

In this multi-part post, we won’t be able to analyze the full spectrum of sexual topics, but we will examine what we think are the top questions on the minds of Christians:

  1. Are there “Christian sex toys”?  What about clitoral vs. g-spot vibrators?
  2. Is it okay to masturbate?  Alone or with my spouse?
  3. What about oral sex?

Christian sex toys

Part 1: Are There “Christian Sex Toys?”

Just the phrase “Christian Sex Toy” seems kind of like an oxymoron.  Aren’t Christians supposed to be semi-nuns who only have sex in the missionary position?  Anything else would be perverse and sinful, right?

How far is too far?  Let’s start from the beginning and lay down a quick foundation before we can dissect this question on Christian sex toys.

1. Sex is intended to be between a married man and woman.

That hasn’t changed between generations and it never will. There are many scripture references, but I’ll just give a few:

  1. Talking about avoiding the adulterous woman, the writer of Proverbs says, “Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.” (Proverbs 5:15)
  2. Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?  So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Matthew 19:4-6)

2. Sex is good.

Sex is too often hidden away and not talked about in Christian circles.  If Christians are not talking about sex – in a positive way – then who is??  Anyway, for anyone doubting that the Bible says sex is good:

  1. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. (Proverbs 5:18-19)
  2. Let my beloved come to his garden, and eat its choicest fruits. (Song of Solomon 4:16b)
  3. I say I will climb the palm tree and lay hold of its fruit. Oh may your breasts be like clusters of the vine, and the scent of your breath like apples, and your mouth like the best wine. It goes down smoothly for my beloved, gliding over lips and teeth. I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me. (Song of Solomon 7:8-10)

I could keep going with the references to why sex is good.

3. The main thing that Jesus changed was to change our mindset from Law to Love.  From Religion to Relationship.

Now, this was always the case as being the most important thing.  Relationship isn’t just a “New Testament Thing.”  Don’t believe me?

  1. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)
  2. You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise. (Psalm 51:16-17)
  3. Even if you have been banished to the most distant land under the heavens, from there the Lord your God will gather you and bring you back. …….. The Lord your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love him with all your heart and with all your soul, and live. (Deuteronomy 30:4, 6)

So it is okay for Christians to use sex toys?

Okay, now that we have those bases covered, lets tackle our question of whether or not sex toys are okay for Christians to use.  Here is where we start to get into our opinion, and not trying to prove anything beyond those items that we talked about above.

In our opinion, sex toys are okay for Christians to use as long as they’re used within these boundaries:

  1. Sex toys are used within the context of marriage.  Also, husband and wife are both okay with using them.
  2. Sex toys are not used as a replacement and are intended to serve a temporary function. Sex is not to be withheld in marriage – husbands and wives are supposed to come together regularly, and there are references for this as well. Do not buy a g spot vibrator and use that in replacement of your husband.  Also, men, do not look at porn in replacement for your wife.
  3. Sex toys should be brought into your sexual relationship when they are beneficial to the relationship.  Some stodgy people may say that a sex toy will never be beneficial in your sexual relationship.  However, there are many cases where it can bring you closer together:
    • If your wife had a c-section within the last year, she will likely need additional stimulation beyond your penis and fingers to orgasm because cutting through nerves caused a decrease in sensitivity and possible numbing sensation for several months.  Please, get a clitoral vibrator.
    • You may have been having sex in the same way for the last several months (or years)!  Shop for a sex toy together and find one you’re both interested in.  Who wants to eat spaghetti for dinner every single night, even if it’s wonderful?  Spice it up and try something new once every once in a while. Song of Solomon doesn’t express sexual desire in the variety of ways that it does for sex to become boring.
    • Your husband is experiencing erectile dysfunction but he still wants his wife to experience sexual satisfaction while they are coming together regularly for sexual intimacy.
    • Maybe you’re a woman who experiences “performance related anxiety.” You feel pressure to say you’ve orgasmed but never really have and don’t know how to because you’ve never masturbated. This might help you and your husband discover how to.
    • You and your husband are okay with the idea of breast augmentations, you’re both also supporters of a vibrator. Penises also come in different sizes.

Now, some people may say that sex toys are examples of “sexual immorality” that is talked about in the bible often.  I think that this is those people’s opinion, and just not what they’re used to.  Just because you’re not used to it doesn’t mean it’s wrong – it’s just different.

So yes, we believe there are “sex toys” that can be beneficial, and we’re not going to divide them up into which toys are right and which are wrong.  As long as they fall into the 3 boundaries above, we think you’re okay in God’s eyes.

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The Ultimate G-Spot Vibrator Review!

How to you choose the best g-spot vibrator? There are so many g-spot vibrators on the market today.  How are you supposed to choose between them?  We decided to create a comprehensive g-spot vibrator review to help choose from among the various options.  It’s not like you can try one on and ask for a different size like they were a pair of pants.  No one wants to visit that consignment shop.

For the purposes of this blog, we will only focus on g-spot vibrators and not rabbit vibrators, which are the dual-action vibes massaging the g-spot and the clitoris at the same time.  The Ultimate Rabbit Vibrator Review will be coming soon…

Which g-spot vibrator is the best on the market?

Let’s start with eliminating 90% of the g-spot vibrators right off the bat.  You do not want anything made with cheap materials that are potentially hazardous, irritating, or allergenic.  If your approach so far has been to walk into a Spencer Gifts (been there!) or Walgreens and find one that looks okay, you’re doing it all wrong.  However, that doesn’t mean you need to spend $200 for a good g-spot vibrator!

For this review, I’m going to focus on the top 5 g-spot vibrators (in my opinion), covering several brands and styles.  The list below is not in order of preference just yet, just the order in which the vibrators were reviewed:

Lelo Gigi 2 G-Spot Vibrator

Lelo Gigi 2

The Lelo Gigi 2 is specifically designed to reach your g-spot.  It is absolutely wonderful, though as with all of Lelo’s products, it is rather expensive.  The Gigi is smaller than the Mona, and the flattened head is designed to be specifically pressed against the g-spot whereas most of the other toys here have significantly more volume.  If you are newer to toys or are rather on the small side, you may want to consider the Gigi 2 first because some of the others can be rather uncomfortable if you’re a newcomer.

The Lelo Gigi 2 is also slightly shorter than the other toys here at a little under 4 inches of insertable length.  It’s not intended to be a thrusting-type dildo-vibe, but a g-spot specific massager, which it does a terrific job at.

As a clitoral vibrator, the Gigi is probably the second-best of the five here, next to the Lelo Mona 2.

Lelo Mona 2 G-Spot Vibrator

Lelo Mona 2

The Lelo Mona 2 as described in my previous review is my favorite g-spot vibrator from Lelo.  It has a larger bulb top, which after I’m warmed up after some clitoral stimulation slides gently in with a very nice filling feeling.  The Mona 2’s size and shape differentiate it from the Gigi 2 significantly.  Because of the shape of the head, it gives the user some room for thrusting while keeping in contact with the g-spot.  Once you are really into it, the shape of the head also allows you to pull it out most of the way, giving you that nice stretching feeling toward the bottom of your vagina before you slide it back in – if you like that sort of thing.

The Mona 2 isn’t the longest of the vibrators being reviewed, though it’s respectable at about 4.3 inches of insertable length, which is plenty for me.

JimmyJane Form 6 G-Spot Vibrator

JimmyJane FORM 6

The JimmyJane Form 6 looks kind of like a small bent bowling pin (but much smaller)!  Both sides are usable internally and externally, and I find that after a nice warmup with the smaller side, the larger side is pretty wonderful.  The head of the Form 6 is actually the largest in diameter of any of the toys on this list, and you will notice the difference.  I also noticed that the JimmyJane Form 6 has the strongest vibration of all of them – potentially due to the larger size being able to pack more punch.

The dual motors also seem to give it significantly more consistent vibration, rather than just at one end of the toy.  However, this can lead to a little bit of numb-hand after a session – a small price to pay for a powerful orgasm.

I have seen different stats about the insertable length of the Form 6, but it seems to be a little under 5 inches, and you notice the difference between it and the Lelo Mona 2.

Je Joue Uma G-Spot Vibrator

Je Joue Uma

Je Joue is a little less known than some of the larger brands like Lelo, but they are no newcomer, and they have done a pretty outstanding job with their products.  The Uma has a pretty similar shape as the JimmyJane Form 6, though it is not quite as large and only one side is intended for use.

The Je Joue Uma also gives you a significantly larger handle to hold onto than the JimmyJane Form 6.  It is less tapered than the Form 6, so it slides more comfortably.

If you are looking for a first g-spot toy, I would recommend either the Je Joue Uma or the Lelo Gigi 2.

 

Je Joue G-Kii G-Spot Vibrator

Je Joue G-Kii

If you have never found your g-spot before, hold on and get ready for some involuntary toe-curling and leg squeezing orgasms!  The G-Kii is the queen of finding and massaging your g-spot, no matter your anatomy or body type.  As you can see in the picture, the key feature of the Je Joue G-Kii (a tongue twister if there ever was one) can be adjusted to several different shapes to meet your anatomy.  Just try one and if you aren’t satisfied, curve some more and try again!  This entry sort of breaks the rule for this review of g-spot-only vibrators, because the G-Kii can actually be fully bent in half to provide clitoral stimulation as well, though I wasn’t terribly impressed with that ability and would rather just use a clit-specific vibrator while using this at the same time.

 

How this G-Spot Vibrator Review was Done

I didn’t feel like previous experience with these vibrators or using them individually in separate sessions was going to do justice to the review and comparison.  After all, moods, time of day, exhaustion, and a multitude of factors can impact any individual sex session.  So I decided to have one session where I used all 5 vibrators in order to have as close to a “side-by-side” comparison as possible.

I loosened up with a bubble bath soak in the tub to prepare myself for the onslaught of vibrations ahead and get my head relieved from any other thoughts so my mind was solely on the wonderful task at hand.  I dictated some notes to my hubby bubby who faithfully jotted them down as we went, as well as his own observations.  Frankly, I think he enjoyed the show!

 

The results

This approach to the g-spot vibrator review was both the most wonderful and the most frustrating idea ever.  I won’t go into the details of the review experience, since those intimate details are for my hubby alone, but I will let you know that I was able to try all 5 each a few times (but just barely) in the same session before finally letting my favorite of the group take me over the edge.  So which toy won???

(Note: Artistic license taken while writing this review)

 

Here are my top 5 in order:

  1. JimmyJane FORM 6
  2. Je Joue G-Kii
  3. Lelo Mona 2
  4. Lelo Gigi 2
  5. Je Joue Uma

In the end, after trying each of these side by side, the JimmyJane FORM 6 took the crown as the winner!  The larger size, rumbly and high intensity was just a level above the rest of the group, though each toy is incredibly enjoyable.  It is the most expensive g-spot vibrator in the group, but not by much from the Amazon links below.  You really can’t go wrong when buying any of these top of the line toys, but you can definitely go wrong by purchasing a cheaper toy.  And when you end up using it about 500 times, you’ll realize it was worth it to spring for the higher quality.

Here are some links to where to purchase each of these on Amazon, which I would highly recommend versus buying from the manufacturers since Amazon has lower prices and faster, free shipping.

So what do you think of our g-spot vibrator review?  Please let us know in the comments below!

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Signs of a Healthy Relationship

Signs of a Healthy Relationship

Psychology Today posted an article on 50 characteristics of a healthy relationship. Below we’ll list out our top 25 signs of a healthy relationship. Go through the list with your partner and discuss.

  1. You and your partner are playful with one another
  2. You think your partner has smart ideas at times
  3. You think about each other when you can’t be physically close
  4. You trust your partner
  5. When you disagree, you’re both able to be sensible and at least see the other persons’ point of view
  6. Your partner is happy when things go well for you, and vice versa
  7. You reminisce about past things that have been positive
  8. You touch each other every day in the form of hugs and kisses
  9. Your partner is a safe place to be vulnerable about fears, worries, insecurities, failures, etc.
  10. You can list positive personality traits your partner inherited from his parents
  11. You both provide each other with a sense of security- knowing the other will be faithful in the relationship and also won’t jeopardize finances
  12. You express appreciation for the other regularly
  13. You sense your individual strengths complement one another
  14. You’re okay taking constructive feedback from your partner
  15. When you hear, You’re Body Is a Wonderland, you immediately think of your partner
  16. You can appreciate the ways you’ve grown as individuals and as a couple
  17. When you’re dealing with life stressors, you can turn to your partner for comfort
  18. You feel as though you’re teammates with your partner, working together to accomplish great things together
  19. You know facts about your partner’s childhood and understand their family relationships a bit
  20. You feel comfortable challenging one another
  21. You view your partner as a warm and gentle spirit
  22. You make each other laugh
  23. You get along with at least one of your partner’s friends
  24. You rarely have contempt for your partner
  25. When arguments happen you still feel as though your partner cares about your feelings

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Sexual Motivation – Keep that Hubby Working Hard!

Sexual Motivation – Keep that Hubby Working Hard!

Alright ladies, you’re the boss of your organization, just one of the many responsibilities you have. You know you want your husband to keep performing his job well, but he needs to stay motivated. So what is one of his top motivators outside of money? SEX as reinforcement!

How often should you make sure he is earning his reinforcement? Twice a week is a pretty reasonable amount of time for most couples. How do you make sure you’re getting the top performance for the set wage you’re paying him (again sex twice a week)? Here’s where I need to explain some psychology concepts for you to learn and then figure out how to best apply this knowledge in order to run your organization, um, I mean, marriage and household…

Reinforcement is a term used when describing a stimulus that helps learn a desired behavior or maintain a desired behavior. Positive reinforcement is used to strengthen a behavior and increase the likelihood that the desired behavior will happen again. So say you want to reinforce your husband for working hard as a provider and being a great husband/dad, he needs to be rewarded with sex from you in order to know he’s doing a good job and that he should keep doing those desired behaviors well 🙂

Now that you understand what reinforcement is and why it’s important, let’s talk a moment about schedules of reinforcement.

Really, when it comes to a schedule of reinforcement for sex, you’re going to chose from either a fixed interval schedule or a variable ratio schedule.

A fixed interval schedule is the idea behind earning a paycheck every two weeks. You know exactly when you’ll receive the reward. It usually produces high responding near the end of the interval, like right before you collect your paycheck, and then lower responding right after you earned the reinforcer. So maybe you pay your hubby once every week on Saturday nights.

A variable ratio schedule is what’s used by employers’s when giving out bonuses or special trips for top performers. The reinforcer (sex) is released after an unpredictable amount of responding (working as a provider and being an awesome head of the household). This type of schedule leads to a higher rate of responding (or desired behavior/performance), because you don’t know when exactly you’ll be rewarded so you keep trying hard. A great example of a variable ratio 5 schedule was posted on Psychology.About.com. To summarize you’re hubby may be reinforced with sex after three full days of working and being an awesome hubby/dad, after 5 days, or after 7 days and so on. The delivery of the reinforcer is unpredictable, but it would average out to be every 5 days.

In order to run your marriage and household at maximize capacity, it might be helpful to do a combination here of a fixed interval schedule along with a variable ratio schedule. Hubby gets paid every Saturday night, and also gets surprise sex one other night during the week. Sex the second time of the week is unpredictable when it occurs, some weeks its Monday, some weeks its Wednesday, some weeks its Friday, etc.

Hopefully you get the idea. Keep that hubby motivated work to work like a boss and to be active and present on the home front!

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